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Originally Posted by Passenger Train Collector:

Everyone has a different story regarding this subject. My wife of three years loves the hobby and loves the trains. She enjoys this as much as I do. We both lost our spouses of many years to cancer and were very fortunate to have found each other. We both appreciate how nice it is to have someone dear to you take significant pleasure in something that is very important to you.

 

I just am very thankful for this support, interest, and wonderful company is we enjoy O-Gauge trains together. The photo speaks volumes of just what I mean.

 

 

Elizabeth 004

Brian, you are a very lucky guy! God bless both of you.

Jim Pastoris, tstark, and Wigville RR my sincerest condolences on the loss of your wives. 

 

My wife doesn't hate the trains but she's not really interested in them either. She's bored out of her mind at shows so she doesn't go. Same thing for car shows so I am mostly solo. There's a one or two car events that she will go to like our car club picnic which is more of a cookout than a car show. 

My wife and I share some common interests, but trains are not one of them, nor is crocheting or beading. The latter two being HER hobbies, not mine! LOL

 

She does support my electric train addiction, or at least tolerates it very well. She's the one who suggested I put my layout in the living room. Likewise, I support her in her hobbies too.

 

Or at least tolerate them very well. 

from the pure hobby aspect of it I go Solo. My wife is totally supportive of my hobby and NEVER questions a new train coming in the front door. After 17 years of club activity on Fridays it when are you going to the club. She has filled that void in her own activities. Where she does participate is in the social aspects as our Club does have many social activities parties picnics and has gone out of her way to welcome my train friends. I think over the years we have found this works well for both of us

Originally Posted by Passenger Train Collector:

       

Everyone has a different story regarding this subject. My wife of three years loves the hobby and loves the trains. She enjoys this as much as I do. We both lost our spouses of many years to cancer and were very fortunate to have found each other. We both appreciate how nice it is to have someone dear to you take significant pleasure in something that is very important to you.

 

I just am very thankful for this support, interest, and wonderful company is we enjoy O-Gauge trains together. The photo speaks volumes of just what I mean.

 

 


alt="Elizabeth 004" height="450" src="https://ogrforum.com/fileSendAction/fcType/0/fcOid/41271596597360688/filePointer/41271596614526871/fodoid/41271596614526858/imageType/MEDIUM/inlineImage/true/Elizabeth%2520004.JPG" style="border-width: 1px; border-style: solid;" title="Elizabeth 004" width="600" />


       


You are very lucky to have someone by your side to help you when you need it!!

My wife doesn't share the hobby with my son and I BUT she is always willing to pick up a few things she thinks we might like on the layout. She will go to hobby related conventions because she will convince other wife's to out to eat and shopping so it's a win-win for the guys and gals.

 

The other part to consider the wife's know where you are!!! Ad to that you are spending time with the kids and keeping the kids away from the I-Pad or video games and that is very appreciated.

 

Also when we started to pick up the Lion-Chief+ locomotives my wife did come downstairs to see them run and chuff and after a few minutes wanted to use the wand herself!!!! That's one of the reasons I love LC+ so much!!

My wife does not share the hobby. But unfortunately her pile of things she can't trow away or sell has wound up in the basement room that will be my train room, delaying the start of the new layout. The last layout, in the garage, was a place to get away alone. Running trains, having a beer or two, and not a worry in the world.

But she is happy to ride trains with me in the summertime. And we share other hobbies, like our horses, travelling and old Citroen cars.

My wife enjoys my trains.  I am fortunate that she never question's

my love of trains, toy or real.  The one thing she loves on my layout

are the Department 56 buildings.

 

On occasion she will say "fire them up, I want to see those trains of

yours run."  I do remember one running session when she asked, "

what do you love more the Yankees or your Trains"?  What a relief

she did not ask "do you love me more or the trains?"  I answered 

her by saying "The Babe & Lou traveled by train back in the day,

that is my answer."  It worked. But mercy it could have been 

disastrous.

 

Many thanks,

 

Billy C

My wife is hot and cold. Last night and today she was fine, as I was doing some work at the kitchen table across from her. However, when I go to the shop just forty feet away, it's as if I've left the country! 

She doesn't mind going to train related trips, such as train shows, (except for York, she was there once and that was enough), or museums and excursions. She does like when the checks come in the mail from sales though!

Don

My significant other enjoys going to York - she has developed an eye for what I'm looking for, and often spots items that I miss.  When I buy something, she volunteers (really) to take it back to the car so I can keep looking!  She encourages me to get down into the basement when I've been procrastinating, she does the lion's share of the painting, and she loves to work on scenery.  I'm very fortunate. 

Over the years I never thought much about my wife's involvement in my trains. She always given mixed signals that were most difficult to read and understand. It has been this way most of out 47 yrs together. She would show up and watch over my shoulder sometimes for what seemed like hours. For many years my TCA "Q" has disappeared for the longest, only to magically reappear well-read. Her devotion and support became most apparent last fall after I had a few mishaps in the trainroom that resulted in my spending five-weeks in the ICU.

Now that I'm not able to get around without assistance I know that she was more involved than I was aware of. If I cannot find something, she goes right to it. I have times when holding a screwdriver is almost impossible. My wife takes over for me. She's my, "Special Lady" now. She has completed so many little projects, when all I could do is watch.

Those out there that think your wife is not interested...Don't sell her short. She may like your hobby more than you realize. Maybe, as much as you do.

Last edited by Prewar Pappy

This is a very interesting post, and I must say, there are several sad stories. To Mary and I, interest and non-interest is not the key. Of course, I agree, it's impossible for me to be interested in QVC fashion shows and Mary agrees it's impossible for her to enjoy playing Halo on the Xbox. Nonetheless, she often times enjoys discussing the trains, cars, scenery, etc. And I truly enjoy hearing about the latest fashion. Isn't that what marriage is all about? Interest in each other? You bet. I must be a very lucky man to have the wife I have of 52 years and both our children living in the same town. Just yesterday, my grandson (4) came running in the house and said, "C'mon grampa...let's go run some trains." I AM a lucky man.

 

George (G3)

I am very fortunate.  My wife is supportive of my hobby, and is grateful that I have shared my love of trains with our 12 year old daughter.  

She is not actively involved in running or buying our trains, but really enjoys seeing them run for limited amounts of time.  Then she is off to do other things.

I NEVER have to hide purchases or deliveries, and I respect her trust by not exceeding our budget for this luxury item.

 

Her great quote on my love of trains: " I'm glad you have a hobby.  It keeps you here home with us".

 

Makes me laugh every time I think of it.

 

Jon

Originally Posted by Looney Tunes:

I am very fortunate.  My wife is supportive of my hobby, and is grateful that I have shared my love of trains with our 12 year old daughter.  

 

 

Her great quote on my love of trains: " I'm glad you have a hobby.  It keeps you here home with us".

 

Makes me laugh every time I think of it.

 

Jon

I love that part about being home; that's my intention when I go into the shop which is in the back yard.

Don

My spouse is semi-supportive of my hobby because it keeps me home.  I don't divulge the $$ I spend however. ("Oh that one. I've had it forever.") She is not annoyed if I spend time "working" on stuff, but hates it when I sit in front of the computer for extended periods (like now).   She used to go to shows with me but is over that now. She loves it when I get giddy and smiley seeing the various steamers run but is not into "chasing trains". She is not much into any hobbies but appreciates mine also because it gives us the alone-time we both need. But in reality she would probably disown me if she had a clue how much I REALLY spend.

All in all,  it's all good...

Last edited by loco2124

My wife is a champ with me and my train love. She'll go with me to shows and encourages me to "go ahead" and get something if I want it, has given me the living room in her parents house for my layout (they're gone now). She has only asked (generally) what an item cost.

 

Our earlier years were devoted to kids, college, mortgage, and life expenses.

Now, with those items not controlling our lives, we spend time indulging each others interest.

For example, we rode 2 hours to "Folkston Funnel" today for some railfanning. Took a picnic lunch. Made a day of it.

She took her Bible study and knitting and was perfectly satisfied to spend the day doing her interest while I socialized with other railfanners and watch the "CSX Show".

 

Jeff

 

 

Judy - - -

 

• Has no interest in running the trains. The only time she ran a train was when, at his house, Patrick H. handed her a Legacy remote, followed by telling her while pointing at a coal train, “that is the train your are now controlling.”

 

However, Judy -

• Will not miss a train show and is an avid train-stuff shopper. If I tell her what I would like to buy, and if it is there, she will find it.

• Likes to visit full-scale train museums, attractions, and go on train rides.

• When I am working on the layout, she will help me with anything at the slightest hint that I might need help; although sometimes the hint is not needed.

• When we were finishing our walkout basement, with the train layout being the primary objective almost five years ago, she carried most of the 240 2x4’s from the back porch, where HD had delivered them, to inside the basement – on her own. She also did 95% of the drywall mudding (to 64 sheets of drywall) and 90% of the painting. Later on, those 240 2x4's were followed by 120 2x4's for the layout frame, and she helped with those too.

• Handles our guests, refreshments, etc., and arranges a lot of our visits.

• If I mention that I would like to buy anything, she will pursue the purchase unless I give her a good reason not to do so.

• Has been having a ball with our recent groups of guests to see the layout and visit with us.

 

We will be celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary in a few months, and are looking forward to the next 50.

 

Alex

Last edited by Ingeniero No1
Originally Posted by Happy Pappy:

Those out there that think your wife is not interested...Don't sell her short. She may like your hobby more than you realize. Maybe, as much as you do.

Quite true Pappy. Two examples I thought of are when I buy things on eBay she freaks out if it is a bidding scenario...coaching me, in different intervals like:

  • 5 minutes to go: "Aren't you logged in yet"
  • 2 minutes to go:"Make sure you bid enough."
  • When its over, assuming I won, "I can't stand those bidding things...too stressful!"

Another example I may have mentioned elsewhere, I dragged my wife on a 6 hour (each way) Fall trip to Horseshoe Curve to take pictures of "Conrail Blue" before it disappeared...she wasn't too thrilled, but she went and as I took pictures she became my train spotter, pointing out approaching trains or helper units drifting by. Then she did another nice thing and picked leaves to put in a zip lock bag as a remembrance of our trip.

  Tom

 

   

I was brought up with trains, so had prior interest, and was fortunate to find a guy who rekindled that enthusiasm and was willing to share his layout and his life with me. Someone said to me last night that it was "good of me to allow Marty to decorate with trains" I hated to spoil the stereotyped image, but had to truthfully respond, a lot of the trains decorating in the living room, kitchen, and front hall were OUR decisions, some are my creations (see pictures - cross stitch). Our lives are better for sharing the hobby and the friends we have made through trains. 

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Last edited by dottyperry

"However, Judy -

• Will not miss a train show and is an avid train-stuff shopper. If I tell her what I would like to buy, and if it is there, she will find it.

• Likes to visit full-scale train museums, attractions, and go on train rides.

• When I am working on the layout, she will help me with anything at the slightest hint that I might need help; although sometimes the hint is not needed.

• When we were finishing our walkout basement, with the train layout being the primary objective almost five years ago, she carried most of the 240 2x4’s from the back porch, where HD had delivered them, to inside the basement – on her own. She also did 95% of the drywall mudding (to 64 sheets of drywall) and 90% of the painting. Later on, those 240 2x4's were followed by 120 2x4's for the layout frame, and she helped with those too.

• Handles our guests, refreshments, etc., and arranges a lot of our visits.

• If I mention that I would like to buy anything, she will pursue the purchase unless I give her a good reason not to do so.

• Has been having a ball with our recent groups of guests to see the layout and visit with us.

 

We will be celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary in a few months, and are looking forward to the next 50."

 

I would say that you picked very well some 50 years ago, Alex. Congratulations on your upcoming 50th Anniversary. Not many today achieve this wonderful milestone.

as far as going to the crappy basement and running trains or working on the layout, it's just me a one or two of the cats. My youngest daughter used to come down, but that was a long time ago, but is right there if I need an opinion or extra hand. I've had both at local shows, off their list no need to go again. When I take the wife antiquing, she tells me to find something for myself. I was after a Marx 333 a few years ago, and kept getting out bid. She told me to bid like I wanted it, I did and won the next time. She'll make cracks like "how many trains do you need?", but she's fine with my hobby. It's always her idea to leave the Christmas platform up well after Christmas (just took it down today, didn't want to wear out it's welcome).

My wife is not into trains, but we both love buying "old stuff". Yesterday we spent touring antique shops in Adamstown, PA (one of the largest concentration of antique sellers in the country). She bought a silver plated cake stand from the 1920s, and I bought a fishing pole from 1888 (and I don't even fish). Since she still smokes, when she asked me what I paid for the fishing pole, I said "Oh about the same as 4 cartons of cigarettes".

I am fortunate, while my wife is not passionate about trains, she does enjoy sharing my enthusiasm for them. I am the type of person who has a hard time buying stuff for myself, that I tend to spend money on everyone but myself, and if I have gotten anywhere with making my dream of having a layout a reality, she is probably the prime reason. I am finishing off my basement for the train room myself, and she has kind of kept me on track with that, encouraged me to keep going on with it when I got discouraged with the lack of progress (time is one thing I don't have a lot of, and I can't afford to get it done professionally, not with a kid in college at a very expensive school). I think she enjoys my enthusiasm and in terms of spending on it, she knows how much I sacrifice for everything else and knows I won't buy stuff unless I know everything else is taken care of first.

 

I think part of the reason is that she feels, whether true or not, that I go out of my way to be supportive of what she likes to do, that for example she loves gardening and having large flower beds and I enthusiastically do a lot of work in helping her with that because it is her passion and I get a kick out of that, or as an avid reader, I have totally supported her getting whatever books she wants and bought her a nice laptop both to read on and also to use to look at the various things she is interested in browsing the net. 

 

I suspect when it comes time to build the layout I'll probably be the one putting a clamp on things, not wanting to spend too much too fast, and she will probably have to encourage me to get what I need

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