After trying a couple local clubs (HO, mostly) I, personally, have given up on the 'clubbie' option. Too political, period! ('My way or the highway' -itis) However, from this forum and elsewhere I am very aware of successful clubs with enthusiastic, participating, sharing, helping, dedicated members.....for which I'm somewhat jealous, but very thankful for their success!
That said, one of the HO clubs I visited once many years ago was in the north Pittsburgh, PA area. I was very impressed with their dedicated facility ( 2 story), membership, funding, outreach to the younger generation, etc. The layout was based on an actual re-creation of the railroad history in that area, trying to accurately model scenes, towns, topography, et al. And as a result of this commitment and focus was able to get supporting funding from the township, city, or even state as a museum/tourist site/historical site/...whatever. They were featured in several hobby publications. The summer day I happened to stop by, the place was well populated with sightseers, kids, workers, and the like. The large HO layout occupied the entire upstairs with excellent aisle width, generous visitor flow path, ample ingress/egress doorways, and photos of the prototype scenes being modeled.
Downstairs was a large O3R layout, a Thomas area (wooden push trains) and other train-related things for kids. There was also a library, meeting room, and small refreshments window, as I recall. All in all, it was well thought out and, apparently, quite popular.
And, BTW, I'm aware there are/were other model railroad clubs similarly based and supported, although I imagine it's an increasingly difficult thing to do/sustain.
Soooooooo.... Extrapolating to your situation,.....and since it appears a move is in your future...., you might consider if some local/county/state pols and business/community leaders could be persuaded to support a similar idea with a long term funding commitment. Then, having a plan with such support and shared vision/enthusiasm, you could build a media campaign for recruitment and participation at the personal level. I don't know about your specific area, but around here there are lots of vacant facilities that could...with some funded improvements....be similarly ideal for such an effort. And I certainly don't see why an O3R layout couldn't be as fundamental to the arrangement as was the HO layout in Pittsburgh. It's just a matter of how you want to approach it.
But, going back to my first comment. If the core group of folks aren't committed to democratically and unselfishly growing such a club/organization, I'd fold the tent and quit now. It's sort of like your occupational experience....'if it ain't FUN, it ain't worth doin'!'
Best of luck. Keep us up-to-date on the outcome/future. Were I 700 miles closer, I'd be honored to help get this turned around.
KD