Midweek Limerick

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!  (I had to stop seeing patients for 5 minutes while I stopped laughing!)

 

Great one, Mike      

 

Peter

There's usually a thread called Haiku

Which is often tricky to do

The gantlet is thrown

By the leader we've known

To challenge the wits of the crew.

 

A collection of trains I have stored

But, by seeing them rarely I get bored

So without delay

I must build a display

To show where my money is poured.

 

 

First foray (please excuse the simple)

 

Upon the wall,

He set them all.

To view the collection,

Of his three rail affection.

To his wife, he did trust,

The removal of dust.

To this end she declared,

To touch them I am scared.

For if they fall,

It will be the end of all.

Perhaps not he replied,

Replacements can be tried.

Very funny guys.

I knew something funny was on the way! If only it was Haiku!!

 

A Soo in the Loo

eases my bloated bladder

smiling I depart

 

Successfully I

refrain, no poo was used in

rhyming with the Soo

 

Best this amatuer haiku writer could come up with.

 

--Greg

Ok, I'll play, although it reminds me of the more bawdy type.

 

There once was a man named Mike,
Who took a piece of his pike.
He placed it in the loo,
His bride declared Soo!
You'll remove that or find that it's fishlike!

I can't resist.

 

There was a young lady of Norway
Who hung by her toes in a doorway.
She said to her beau:
"Just look at me, Joe,
I think I've discovered one more way!"

There once was a man from Nantucket...............

 

 

Opps I can't do that one..............................

 

You threw down the gauntlet Greg.  I couldn't back down.  

Hii-yeeeeeeeeeeeee-aahhhhhh !   

Limericks are frequently lewd

Or at the very least crude

On a family forum

Demanding decorum

I’m reduced to a fat gray prude!

 

There once was a guy named Gilly

Whose Haikus are at best just silly

When reduced to clean Limericks

The prose required word-tricks

All the while sucking down Chili!

 

Finally remembered some clean ones....

 

Willie on the Railroad Tracks

The engine gave a squeal!

The Engineer just took a spade

and scraped him off the wheel!

 

Willie fell down the elevator

He wasn't found 'til 3 days later

The neighbors took a sniff and said "Gee Whiz"

What a spoiled child Willie is!

 

Gilly

ok

 

There once was a man from Spain

Who's fondness was collecting of Trains

His wife, she just sighed

As another time he Lied

Bout the money he recently Spent

 

She put her foot Down

He watched with a Frown

As she said with a Grin

For each train, I'll have ten Men

And turned to the kitchen she Went

 

He sat and he Thought

Of the penalty and Sought

A way he could Play

That wifey would Pay

His buddy has money to be Lent

 

So he borrowed some Money

And said to his Honey

I listened and Heard

Your threatening Word

But an order has already be Sent

 

The trains total Ten

That makes for one hundred Men

So the trains I will Run

While you have your Fun

And I wish you the best with the Pain

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the O Gauge Railroad forum

Exists a gentlemanly decorum

But some of these posts

Are funnier than most

They relieve my afternoon boredom!

That's awesome Mike, but you really shouldn't have brought up limericks.  Here is one I made up a while ago.  Not train related, but may be worth a listen.  I'm going for a walk in a minute.  By the time I get back I may have ten limericks in my head. 

 

I once made love to a gal on a cactus

you could tell that she'd had lots of practice

for I paid a price for passion you should know

I had holes in my body head to toe

while she walked away from our tryst almost scratchless  

 

 

And I thought the Haiku posts were clever. 

Egads!!

 

Did you put a Soo in the Loo!?!?

And drive your poor wife to 'Boo-hoo!'?

How could you, you cad!

That's really quite bad!

To display your choo-choo where you poo!!!

 

Burma Shave.

 

This is outrageous! I need to think something up ...

A student pilot, flying o'er Spain,
Crashed landed atop a Spanish train.
When the inquiry board asked why,
He did reply,
'In Spain, a plane falls mainly on the train.'

Geez, you turn on the spigot....the hilarity just keeps coming and coming.         What the **** have you guys been drinking this afternoon??!!

 

 

  

The wit of this group is insane

Showing massive power of brain

Going from Haiku to Rhyme

In a short span of time.

Making limericks related to trains

 

I'd judge by this thread's rapid pace

That the Haiku just might be replaced

Would be a great shame

Things won't be the same

Could bring the tears to my face.

 

I propose an alternate plan

To allow the Haiku to stand

Do Haiku on a Wednesday

With limericks on Thursday

And collect even more poetry fans.

 

Great stuff in this thread! I love it!

--Greg

Not train related, but when I saw limerick, it made me think of this old Gaelic blessing:

 

May those who love us, love us. And those that don't love us, may God turn their hearts; and if he doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles, so we'll know them by their limping.

 

 

Andy

 

Mick then bought Sean a beer

His arms, legs and body did appear

Overjoyed was he that he exclaimed with glee,

A round of drinks for the house are on me

 

Sean took another sip of beer

He dropped dead right then and there

The bartender then said, while shaking his head

Sean should have quit, while he was a-head

 

Gilly

An avid train buff named Ace

had trains all over the place

trains on the floor

and over a door

tracks virtually filling the space

The Natty Boh stock is slim

My thirst quenching options are grim

When October is here

I'll be restocking my beer

Six cases should hold out for next year! 

 

The Alcos were idling neigh

When the "Suits" came strolling by

Crack the throttle said he

I responded with glee

As they were oiled down like pigs, in a sty!

 

Gilly