Model Trains and Parents Don't mix

You need to reslove this problem with your parents.. end of story

After reading this post, I'm convinced not all adults are smarter than a 14 year old.

You hit the nail on the head.  That was my point exactly.

Unfortunately as is the case for most teenagers, if your parents don't understand your interests the will reject them.

When I was 15 I got very involved in the local Hardcore Scene. My parents were very unhappy with this. They hated the fact that I was seeing bands in vfw halls and warehouses that were "unsupervised". They would never drive me to shows and would give me tons of greif if i got picked up or got dropped off after. They really lost it when i got my septum pierced! But as time went on they realized that the scene was about more then bands and stagediving and more community of friends.

By the time i was 19 they had eased off a lot. 

My best advise to you is to keep at it, but move forward at a minimal pace. Keep it to yourself and only include friends who are interested in trains as well. Eventually your parents will come to grips and accept your interests. or at least you can hope they will. I'm 32 and other than trains and guns my father still thinks everything i like in nonsense.

And always remember, no matter what.... Parents Just Don't Understand

Do your folks get bent out of shape when you play Trainz on your computer?

If they do, the trains are likely symbolic of something non-obvious that deeply infuriates your mom, and as mentioned before, your stepdad is probably siding with her to keep the peace (ever take him aside and ask him privately if that's what he's doing?).

I'd keep a close eye on your budding collection (so it's never considered "abandoned by disuse and therefore get-rid-of-able-behind-your-back" by your mother), and quietly make notes of the stuff you're interested in acquiring for down the road when you're independent of their control. You'll likely still be able to buy them even then. In the meantime, continue investigating train simulators to keep the flame alive. There's freeware simulators (BVE, OpenBVE) out there that you can add a dizzying array of content to without spending a cent (and if they object to that, then you know "something's rotten in Denmark", as the saying goes) 

At least that's how I'd handle it--hating a hobby like this to the extent you describe strikes me as irrational. There's something more to it than simply thinking model trains are inappropriate for a teenager, especially with what else you could be getting into nowadays.

---PCJ

Reading some of these posts makes me want to chime in again.

Don't deceive your parents.  It is *NOT* a good idea.  Even if they never know, you will.  Being trustworthy (as opposed to getting people to trust you) is key to becoming a responsible member of society.  Whatever else happens, you will have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.  If you let deceit destroy your integrity you will end up being miserable.

There's more here than meets the eye, more than just trains.  Except to suggest a neutral mediator (teacher, clergy, counselor), best to not advise from a distance.

Pete

Sometimes a parent will use something as a weapon against another, even if it affects the child.  Or the child, male or female, will be the weapon.

Lesson:  Don't try these things in any future family you might have!

However there can be a serparate point of view.  I am 69 years old and have been interested in trains all my life.  I have a lot of trains...so many that they are associated with me as part of my personality.  As my grandkids were born people would say, "Wow! I'll bet your grandkids really go nuts for these trains." Well nothing could be further from the truth.  Nobody in my family has any interest in  my trains and just considers them to be an idiocyncracy of mine. 

       So to live up to their expectations I bought my oldest grandson a couple of Lionel sets and gave him a huge box of track including switches crossings etc.  My grandson never plays with them because his dad (my son) refuses to help him set it up...probably because as a young kid at home he was almost hostile to my trains.  My grandson continued that if he did try to set them up in his room his mother insisted that they be put away each night.  So don't say I didn't try.  I doubt that his parents will give them away since I gave it to him and they said that they would return them if they weren't used so I could pass them on to my daughter's kids.  Why don't I say anything? Because I remember how I resented my dad's interference with my kids.

        My advice is the same as I gave to another young friend who used to post here as a 14 year old, don't let trains take over too much of your life.  This is the most important time of your life.  You must begin laying a sound foundation for your adult life.  Take up an interest in a sport, try out for school or church plays, go out on supervised group dates and activities, get good grades and set trains in the background as there will come a time when the trains will be boxed up for the future.  But when the time comes they will be waiting patiently to serve and entertain again.

       That young friend has grown up now and is probably living his adult life.  As far as I could see his folks were OK with his trains. Maybe some day Mattrain will show up here again.    Odd-d

I don't know what to do to make my son interested to train, instead he pass is day in front of his computer. At his age ( 10 ) I already own my own tools, him he don't even know how to hit a nail. 

There is nothing you can do to make a child, or anybody else, interested in trains.

My approach was to share my hobby with both of my sons, letting them lead and do whenever possbile. For example, they each had trains that they could bang around with no problem. There were boxes of train supplies for them to use when setting up trains on the floor. (Playing with trains of the floor was more fun for them than running trains on my layout).  When they wanted to try "HO" and later "N", I made it happen.

One son maintained an interest in trains ("N" gauage)  until girls and cars came along. He has mentioned that he would like to get back into them someday when he has time.

The other son also has an incredible knowledge of Lionel trains, including how to repair them, but really isn't very interested in them.

My father passed away before my adult interest in trains blossomed, but he would have also been somewhat bewildered, and critical, of the money I spent on them. Having suffered through hard times during his early life, he was of the opinion that any money left over after taking care of food, clothing and shelter was best squirreled away in the bank, not spent on leisurely pursuits. I was an avid fisherman as a youth and he criticized the money I spent on fishing tackle. Since I now take a more simplistic and minimalist approach to my hobbies, I somewhat agree with him when I look back, but for different reasons. In any case, you have to live your own life, perhaps making your own mistakes. There is indeed wisdom mixed in with the opinions and occasional bias passed to you by your elders. You’ll have to weed that out for yourself. And in the end, all that you think you have learned will be debated and argued against by your own kids.

Josh, everybody here replying are mostly grown up now with money to buy what ever they want. When we were teenagers we were lucky to have one train let alone two. Be happy with what you have and just ride this out. You too will be able to buy what you want as years go by.

romiller

Josh, are you still with us? You are getting some good advice here that you asked for, are you listening?

His parents read this board and Parcel Posted him to Hot Water.

My parents were neutral on the trains, but what would get my mom everytime was, "You didn't buy another locomotive, did you?". Small purchases like scenery track and the like was ok but a locomotive (we're talking here $30 -50 in the 1980's) would always set her on edge. So I didn't have very many. I subscribed to a couple of magazines, read lots of books, watched real trains when I could, and built a couple small layouts. I really couldn't do much because of money and room until I finished college and got out on my own. I could reduce my purchases, but keeping the love of trains away was just impossible. It's what makes me "me" - denying yourself of the basics because of others will just make for resentment later.

Other people (fellow students, would-be girlfriends, etc) would just snicker or laugh if I told them I was into trains or a "model railroader", so would never talk about my main interest but other such as hiking, camping, gardening (more "normal" activities). I just kept them to myself for me. I think I turned out ok

Peter

Well at least he is in good hands 

 

 

Originally Posted by Harry Doyle:

Originally Posted by TimDude:

Josh, are you still with us? You are getting some good advice here that you asked for, are you listening?

His parents read this board and Parcel Posted him to Hot Water.

Depends on your perspective.  

Yes I'm listening I have not had time to be on the forum. I thank you for all the good advice. I have been trying to decide a layout plan for my train room (that I barley received) I thank you for the offers of donating cars ect. I do appreciate it but that is not necessary. 

Thanks Again 

Josh

Josh,

If you have it or can get it, look up Page 62 of OGR December 2010 and see if your parents would allow something that small but that nice.

I feel obliged to say that I agree w/ Pete, here, and I would very respectfully advise my fellow posters on this thread that some editing needs to be done to some of these reples. I am not sure some of the "humor" may be fully understood by a fourteen year old. In fact, a post here or there might need to be withdrawn. However well-intentioned everybody may be in their need to be helpful, please,please, consider how some of this may be viewed. We need some culling of messages. Soon.

Frank

Point taken:

What's wrong with perfect strangers calling your parents idiots, or the  recommendation to hire some thugs to work them over?

Or helpful hints on how to deceive your parents?

Reminds of the short order cook or part time bartender who has the answer to everything. But if they're so smart, why aren't them employing that intellect in a more challenging or worthwhile venture.