Am I Asking Too Much?

No, you are not asking too much. It's happening more and more lately, whether it's Ebay, Craigslist, private sales and even on the Forum. It comes down to a complete lack of consideration and manners. What really gets me in these situations is that they are the buyers. They are asking you to sell them something. Then when you do respond the other end of the line goes dead. This is not to say it happens all the time, but it is happening more often.

No your not, a polite response is always expected. But, we have to remember that this is a hobby to most people and most do not look at it as a business. For this reason normal business practices are sometimes over looked.

I contacted a club about becoming a supporting member only because of the distance I live from them. I admire the club and their efforts and wonted to help in some small way but I never received a reply from them.

I don't know why they would not wont such an associate member and I'm sure their reasoning is sound but a thanks' but no-thanks' reply would of been nice.

 

Like I said above most people are in this for fun not business, or a real working nonprofit. That is why we should give people the benefit of the doubt and not take it personal when normal protocol's are overlooked. Have Fun brother, it's not that big of a deal. 

I have had that happen numerous times,also get the I am sending a check and nothing happens,I had that happen  two times by the same person.At least on the bay when they bid they have to pay.

Mikey

No you not asking to much. I cant say it any better then what Joe said. But this also applies with sellers. I have sent emails and never received a response.

A couple of years ago someone posted a wtb post looking for parts of the exploding boxcar.   I offered to send them foc,  but never heard anything  from them.   Weird.

I blame casual Friday.  The lack of manners these days is beyond the pale.  What used to be common courtesy is not so common.

Like I said above Frank, In the hobby world people can get a little strange.

Always double check your spam folder.  I use Yahoo and the method they use to denote spam causes many valid emails to end up as spam - even after I've marked them as 'not spam'.  However, I concur with the replies above - if the question is asked and a reply is sent, why is it so hard sometimes to just send a quick reply saying 'Thanks for the info' or 'Thank you for your time'.  On a lighter note - remember the old days when phone numbers weren't listed and you actually had to write a letter, get a stamp and mail it to whomever you were seeking information from?  Oh, and you probably had to include a stamped, self-addressed return envelope:>)

It's an endemic condition and not anything new. A simple reply is no longer given for almost anything now.  Apply for a job - no reply ='s rejection.  Apply to Grad. school - no reply ='s rejection. 

The reverse happens, too. I am looking for something to buy now. A fellow wrote me with something similar (pre-war) , but not exact. I replied thanks, but that I was trying to stay post-war. He responded with a link to what I was looking for on Ebay. I placed a bid and thanked him.

 

My experience on this board is that there are LOTS of folks like steamer!

 

 

Its even better when they act as tho your fair selling price is some ridiculous number

I have on a couple occasions when I read something like "I need to buy xxxxx" in a post other than on the WTB forum sent an email saying "I read your post about......" indicating I have the item(s) and if they are interested please let me know.  I try to remember to identify myself as a forum member but know I did not every time.  No responses to my emails.  I just figure the recipient considers my email "Spam" and don't worry about it.  However, not responding to an email regarding a WTB post is as my wife would say, "Just Rude."

there have been several threads just like this on a couple of car forums I frequent. And I've had it happen to me. I'll package a car part up, go to the post office for shipping costs, email the prospective buyer the info, and never hear back from them. Same with running ads in the local bargain hunter. someone will call, and say "do you still have the car for sale? I'll be there at 5pm" No show, no call saying they can't make it?changed their mind....But I have had nothing but great dealings here.

Most who make up our Forum are polite and do respond. There will always be exceptions. I would just ignore the few instances were courtesy may not be their rule.

this new generation will be known as the "incommunicado Gen"  almost sounds train related

I had a buyer (this site) respond to an ad quite a while back, tell me how much he wanted the item, had me box it calculate exact shipping, etc, then told me later he found it somewhere else on-line for cheaper because shipping was free. 

 

(Which would have been fine if he had just done that research before telling me how he was really serious and wanted the item)

 

-Dave

 

You're not asking too much at all

 

 

alex

I would not generalize. Either there is or there is not interest in what is being sold.

 

I had a really strange one, he wanted to buy a car I had for sale. He would not give me his address because he did not trust the Internet. He also would not send payment by PayPal because of trust and he would not send it by mail because the PO can steal it. 

 

My question to him I guess we cannot do business. He was insistent he wanted the car. 

 

I have not heard from him since and he posts on ogr every now and then. 

I think it is common decency to at least send a reply. It doesn't take much for certain things to work me up - one of which is lack of "thank you but I'm going to pass", etc. It only take a minute or two. Have some respect. It is rude. Don't waste my time and I won't waste yours. I can share and understand in your frustration. I got a kick out of one very active member here commenting on how the "drop off the earth with no response, etc buyers" are rude, etc. Funny thing is he did the same thing to me!

 

I've had pretty much nothing but positive experiences selling (and some buying) on the forum and have met some new friends in the process. Only two "sour apples". One complaining after delivery that the item "cost to much" for how little he got - there were no surprises there and he knew what he was getting. Another commented on my post they were interested in an item I had for sale and posted a phone number. I asked for him to email me as I prefer to have a paper trail to follow if needed. Never heard from him after I sent him an email regarding the sale when he indicated his interest. About 2 weeks later, I get a really nasty email berating me for not calling him like he asked and how I was trying to pull one over on him (uh, no), etc, etc (insert foul language). The way I see it  - if you really wanted the item, you would've emailed me right away or responded to my email to you. Not enough time to respond to the initial contact but enough to type out a long, chastising note a few weeks later....

I think people now-a-days are just plain ignorant aside from my fellow forumites.  Although I have only dealt with a very few of you, those I have dealt with were the cream of the crop.

 

And, it's not just thru communication but try walking around at York with an arm load of boxes.  How many people will actually MOVE out of your way or hold a door open for 2 seconds for you to exit...not very many.  This has happened to me plenty of times, not only at York but in grocery stores and shopping malls.

 

I had a guy on ebay once ask me about 5 or 6 questions on an item.  I answered every one within a reasonable time frame.  He even asked me to open the item and take several more specific pictures which I did.  After that I never heard from him again.  BTW the item was in perfect condition.  I figured he may have had the same item he wanted to put up for sale and was trying to get an idea how mine compared to his so he could get a better price.

 

Rick

WHATEVER....

I think they are public domain.  Put it out there, and, it's there for the world and all.  This is why so many of the folks who live and die by the social media often see results that are less than desirable.  Too much personal information is posted for everyone to use in a good or bad way.

Not asking too much at all.

It works both ways and we all forget sometimes.

 

I'll ask a question from an auction site and sometimes get an answer after it's over.

 

I asked a well known member here once if his price was flexible and his firm "no" answer felt like hitting a block wall, to later see the price flex.

What you can do for the future is;

After the info paragraph of the details/price, etc, politely ask to hear back from the person either way if its yeah or neah.

 

Originally posted by david1;

He also would not send payment by PayPal because of trust and he would not send it by mail because the PO can steal it. 

How would people in the post office, withhundreds of thousands of letters coming and going DAILY seek out his letter and attempt to cash in his check or better yet, a Postal Money Order[which can be traced] made out to someone else. The post office is pretty automated so only a small percentage of mail is handled while being processed. This statement sounds like this buyer was off his "train of thought"[to be polite]. GOOD call you the seller let him know you can't do business and call it off as something is just not right.

That is incorrect.

Greg, and everyone, I stand corrected.  I thought wrongly about public domain.  After some research and Greg's comment, I found that one must assume that everything posted is copyrighted unless a specific statement to the contrary has been posted.  It is more complicated than I thought.  Sorry - Bob S.

I suspect a number of the thoughts listed happen.

I suspect another possibility: The person already found the item and failed to remove it from the wanted list. Now they are not expecting any contact about it and will ignore incoming offers as spam.

 

I will admit I am not good about checking my email. Sometimes it goes over a week before I look at it.

And I am sure I have lost connection with someone here at least once who had an Item I wanted but life got in the way and I forgot about it before I sent the money or an address to quote shipping to.

 

I don't have anything on the Wanted To Buy forum, But If I'm the offender to any of You I truly apologize. My life gets hectic from time to time and trains get pushed to the back of the list. I am still a working stiff and my time is often cut short with no notice.

Works both ways.

 

Been on both sides of it.  

 

The one that kills me is when the seller never replies after price is agreed upon.  Or takes a month to call you. Then says e-mail is best, but never checks his spam or messages... Yeah, that gives a good feeling about sending money (sarcasm).  

 

He sells trains out of Chicago.  I'll be glad to let potential buyers know his history.  Just e-mail me.

 

Fortunately, that was last year and my only bad experience with a seller.

 

Life's to positive and enjoying to let a few others ruin your day.

d&h :was it about the atlas track ad? that guy does that all the time.....on the for sale posts, he plays 20 questions with the seller and then is never heard from again.-jim

     D&H in no way am I saying that the actions (or lack of ) witch you are referring to are right but. I know I have done the same thing A few times to people on the for sale forum. I am disabled and live with my parents my mother always did everything for my father. He is used to getting what he wants when he wants it. If I am in the middle of doing something and he yells for me I have got to go and see what he wants. My mother is disabled and can not do anything for him anymore. It is up to me to get him what he wants when he wants it and I have to stop what I am doing witch sometimes I forget to get back to some people. I hope you can understand what I am getting at? I know I am wrong for not getting back to some people and I am sorry! I am not making excuses it is what it is. When you are getting the groceries, the mail, getting pills, taking mom to Dr. appointments, working on the train platform, doing woodworking projects and on the computer some times you screw up! Like I said it does not make it right but hopefully you can forgive someone for making A mistake? Take care and to anyone I have ever wronged I am truly sorry! Choo Choo Kenny

Guilty here - I have asked questions to help frame my thinking before mentally making any commitment to buy. To be honest most of my questions come out of lack of sufficient detail in the item description or unclear or incomplete pictures. By this, I do NOT mean to construe that my lack of follow up is the sellers fault. It is that I have never assumed that asking a question was leading anybody on and, therefore, felt no obligation to respond with a "no thanks" or "let's make a deal".

 

Like the English lady always tells me when we are driving together - "RECALCULATING!"

It's so mush easier when the ad is complete-item number, condition, problems, and price!  

 

 Clear pictures sell stuff and not just trains....! 

You are for certain asking too much, because simply put, people don't respond to this stuff much anymore.

I am convinced that many people post that they want something much in the way they go to car dealerships with zero intention of buying anything. They are, "kicking the tires," if you will.

I see this with other forums with different subjects. It's easy to post, "Looking for..." when you don't really have to commit to anything. And when someone comes along with a fugure that isn't a 'giving it away' amount, it's easier for most to just act like it never happened. Blame the internet if you will, but I see this at shows (both RR and non-RR related) in person as well now. Someone will let me know that they're interest in something they know I'll be at a show trying to sell, and when they get there, they haul out the excuse book, or just walk right by as if they don't think I saw them. Then, the excuse book is opened for certain.

Or how about the folks who post a reply to your "for sale" item saying they will take the item and then later advise that they do not want the item when they could have simply e-mailed privately that they wanted the item thereby allowing others to potentially buy. 

Agreed, it's quite annoying. Also annoying is having an item priced very well in Ebay then you get 89 looks and 33 watchers week after week and no one ever bids. Why bother watching if you do not intend to bid? 

 

G

Nothing new there. I sell at gun shows and military collectible shows every now and then, and I see this all the time. When I first walk into the hall with something cool, it never failed that someone would come up and tell me to set that aside because they want it. That only worked once and I never forgot how ticked I was when I set aside something all day and the guy said he'd spent all his money on other stuff and I didn't get to sell it to anyone.

Now, I tell the person how much it is (no haggling in such a case for me) and that if the transaction doesn't take place right there, it's going onto the sales table.

Even had people come back later in the day, assuming I put it aside anyway. Sometimes it's there; sometimes it ain't. They get madif it isn't and I always say, "Hey, it's not my responsibility to put this aside to keep anyone else from buying it while you ponder on if you really want to buy it."

Poop or get off the lid. Simple as that. But I can't recall the last show I sold at where someone didn't try this.

 

It's not about "asking too much," it's about "expecting" too much.  I have zero expectations whenever I offer something for sale--here on OGR or eBay. 

 

My disappointment is on the other end of the transaction--packed well, shipped promptly, but no "I got it" from the buyer--but that's what tracking is for.

What's even more annoying is when you send something of value as a gift and not even then do you get a heads up that they got it.

I don't even expect a thanks in this day and age, but to let me know you got it really is, in my mind, the absolute bare minimum. But then, I, too, expect too much as clearly I'm in the minority there.