Hey guys an thanks for all the replies, def some pointed me in the right direction
Just thought I would post that I seem to have come up with a solution.
First off I should mention that I did look closely at the plug, and basically found no real damage. From seeing the way its made, it has two little ridges on side of the tender side plug, and the female plug on the draw bar has two slots on the sides for those ridges to fit into, an probably all with pressure these slots pinch on those ridges for most likely the majority of the hold. Probably some comes from each little plug and some other parts to it all.
At any rate, to some degree I could say my slots were spread a tiny bit, but I doubt anymore then normal from a plug in or two, an I very much doubt a replacement would be any dif after the same.
Btw, one other point I want to make before I forget is I wanted to mention that I have a living room perimeter floor layout that winds around a lot of furniture, so for sure I probably am taxing this connection probably more then most as it has tons of 031 curves, switches and S-runs.
Anyway, so for the fix...at first I took a look at the tiewrap idea and for sure have no issues with tiewraps as I use a tone on many things including my large R/C Helicopters.
But in looking at this connection, the few things I didn't like were for one, how close all the wires were that came out of the top of the tender part going to the PS3 stuff. Basically in looking at least for my PS3 Imperial Blue Comet, with a tiewrap, I felt it might have been pushing on these given how wide it was (for even a thin one) an was just too worried about that. Second was how at least again for my train, I could see how the top front of the same part was already rubbing against the underside of the tender part just a little, and while not bad, I thought with again the width of a tie-wrap, that it might have caused a strike of the tiewrap at a attempt of a full swing an thus a restriction of its full movement (an with all my curves am sure it would have). So this too was a concern.
Lastly while not 100% permanent, it did make so the only way I would take it apart would have been to cut the wrap.
Anyway, know I'm getting long here, so on to what I did, which was basically to use a rubber O-Ring.
With the O-Ring I found one, that being as thin as it was, it really didn't put any pressure on the wires, two as again being thin, it allowed for a complete swing of the connection, an three, as compared to a tie-wrap, it is a lot more easy to pull to the side to disconnect, all while leaving it there to reconnect.
Basically what I did was put it over the tender part first, then pulled it to the back side of the plug. I then made the connection, and with a little screw driver, I pulled it over the engine drawbar part.
So after I put it on the tracks and have let it run for over a half hour now an with a 11 car consists (an even for the length of the draft of this post) an it has yet to come apart!
As for what size O-Ring, I can't say 100% the size it is as I grabbed it from a junk nuts & bolts collection I have, but I did measure mine an it seems to be .70 for a OD, an .50 for a ID. Although I don't think a exact size of that is all that critical, just basically one that will be tight enough to hold, but still let you work with it is probably good.
Anyway, hope that wasn't too lengthy, but just thought I would post all of that as it might be helpful to others.
Thanks