ok folks, its August...in less than four weeks, it will be September - the "unofficial start" of train season.
In less than 8 weeks, it will be October...autumn will be upon us, clear cool winds and sky with the sound of tree's rustling to the autumn breeze and leaves falling.
By then you will be "in the mood"...thoughts of Thanksgiving plans will begin to creep in less than 8 weeks...maybe sooner? And then WHAM!
It's time to start thinking about going over inventories for Christmas layouts, and getting out the temporary layouts to be ready for the day after Thanksgiving? The "official start" of the Christmas Season?
Of course...you do realize that stores and TV commercials with Christmas and Holiday themes will begin to emerge as early as September...less than 4 weeks.
Sooooo, you all need to get in SHAPE and fast! Here is what you all need to start doing NOW!
1) Run over to your refridgerator, stand in front of it, and open and close it 100 times as fast as you can.
This will build up your reflexes so that you can beat anyone to the fridge, open it, grab your holiday food goodies, and then get away in a flash.
This also works great for grabbing Halloween candy from bowls, Thanksgiving Drumsticks, and Christmas cookies.
2) Go outside and walk around your lawn in circles, stopping every 10 feet to bend and touch your toes.
This will help your back muscles prepare for bending down to pick up strings of Christmas Lights that are ready to be put up.
3) Go to your supermarket, and help the bag boys carry groceries, this will build up your arm and leg muscles so you can carry heavy boxes loaded with train layout stuff as well as Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas Decorations.
4) Set up a locomotive on your layout and/or a test track, turn the smoke unit on, and walk around breathing deeply.
This will condition your lungs to tolerate model train smoke, so that you can operate for hours at a time.
5) Take your wallet, load it up with $1,000 in monopoly money, then practice both loading it and emptying it. This will allow you to tolerate the parting of money, from your wallet during the holiday train buying season as well as Christmas gifts. Increase your tolerance further by switching in $100 of real money once a week for the next ten weeks...in and out and in and out.
6)Clean your debit card, and make sure the magnetic stripe works...we do not need you on your knee's begging your local train store to hold that Neil Young Signature Texas Special Set for you, while you wait 4 weeks for your new Debit or Credit card.
7)Grab your TV remote and keep switching channels until you can do so for hours on end, this will build your endurance up so you can use your Lionel or MTH hand held command and control remotes for hours on end.
8) Go outside, remove your clothing, face into the wind, chant the word "snow" over and over while flinging baking powder into the air and begging "Frost Meiser" to cut a deal with his brother "Heat Meiser" for lots of snow, south of the Mason Dixon line.
9) Check your latest copy of OGR magazine for the "month"...notice it says SEPTEMBER!
Now PANIC, because the next one will say OCTOBER!
10) Stand at your front window, and see how far away you can determine if the truck coming up the street is the USPS, UPS, or Fed Ex....then, as the truck passes your house, run after it, and try to keep up. This will build your speed up, so that you can chase down these trucks on delivery days, in which you just stepped into the restroom for a minute and missed your train delivery...Also, if the driver stops when you do this, give each of them $50 dollars, a wink, and tell them "I would appreciate a heads up for any boxes marked "Lionel, MTH, Williams, etc"....The driver will either wink back and tell you "He has got your back", ask for more money, or call the police on you.
I hope this helps all of you, it certainly works for me!
Oh and under the category of "Guys helping Guys"...MEMORIZE these lines when challenged by your wife, girlfriend, mother, children, or anyone...who tell you that you already have enough trains....
"Honey, your car is looking kind of old these days, why don't we go look at a Lexus for you this weekend (tip: you don't have to actually buy a Lexus...just go look at them).
"Baby, I have been thinking about maybe moving our relationship forward (then present her with a gold bracelet)".
"Mom...when were you born again? 1990?"
And when all else fails, my tried and true "self rationalization" thought process...I work hard, I deserve this! Then quickly enter your credit or debit card info, for that new Locomotive you want, before anyone see's you. if you performed my previous 10 steps, you should be able to pull this off in less than 2 seconds. If not, then practice more!
. Hope you got the 911, its better than the font engine ones in the snow. I think it would be better to wait till the evening of Dec 23rd or early on the 24th, just incase. Besides its a crime for "yank's" to do that kind of wishin pre-Christmas, it might come true NOW! Some 10+ years ago it snowed on June 3rd in Detroit, didn't stick but it snowed around lunch. I blame it on you now
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"You will shoot your eye out kid." 