Early Christmas "joke"

You really can't wait for train season to well can you  

D500, you need help...and soon.  

"Rudolf 's Red-Nosed Diesels" does have a certain ring to it...hmmm.

Simply increase the meds until the thoughts go away! LOL

Well it looks like" play trains" and his medication formula is on a right track for opioid addiction.

D500-

Drop a couple of smoke pellets in a post war steamer and breath deep.

You will be fine.

Rudolf was standing with his girlfriend one cold wintery evening at Red Square when it began to precipitate. He said it was rain - she insisted it was snow, to which he replied...

"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."

Put down your keyboard and walk slowly toward the officer with your hands on your head.

Good one - even if a little early - toss'em out anytime you have a new smoke of "funny stuff!

D500 and Sam,

Those were great!!!

You two would fit right in my family.  My wife, daughter, mother-in-law, and brother-in-law can just let puns loose at will.  When they all get together, it is like tag team puns!

Amtrak SDP40F's with the arrow livery would fit the bill.  After we get the official opening of the season from Daffy Duck, of course!

Yeah, for some I can see the graphics becoming Rude.

But the nose on carbodies doesn't glow.

However, I found a more modern work around for that.

Santa has to have moved to the moon or Mars by now. Undeniable evidence exists!

Oops look again.

(attachment tool vanished , could only edit to get it. But its back)

C.SAM:

"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."

Oh, I feel better, now. Not so alone. And I wish that I had thought of that one. Yours? 

I'm thinking there may not be enough meds in the world to help this group! Doctor please give me something ,I just want have some pun with the guys! LOL

D500 posted:

C.SAM:

"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."

Oh, I feel better, now. Not so alone. And I wish that I had thought of that one. Yours? 

Oh golly No.  My Mom used to tell us that one when I was a kid. We came from a joking family like Mark above.  I hadn't heard or thought about that one for many years until your post kindled my memory! Thanks.

   A smart answer was pretty much expected here too. It makes you pay better attention to what is actually being said to you; less drifting, more focus and the ability to change focus and multitask are kept sharper imo. 

  That's your best chance at "expanding your mind" outside of religion and meditation on life; Apply warm Absurdism, lather it, and use Occum's Razor to see if it shaves clean 

Hi "D500", I didn't exactly fall out of my chair laughing when I read it, but compaired to what most stand-ups try to pass off as funny today you missed your calling! 

D500 posted:

I tried to not do this. I really did. It will sink to the bottom, as it should. But I can't help it.

 

The ATSF had many diesel locomotives painted in the so-called "warbonnet" scheme, silver with red noses.

The German inventor of the engine, Herr Diesel, had the first name of "Rudolf".

So, the Santa Fe had locomotives which could be styled: "Rudolf's Red-Nosed Diesels", could they not?

 

I'm sorry.

That's the spirit!!! 

This joke deserves a serving of eggs Benedict on a chrome plate, 'cause there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

I’ll play along.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?  Claustrophobic. Ba dump!

Or, a little on the bawdy side,

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

Santa loves the Claustropbic joke.

As for the other joke, Santa says, "How'd you like a nice hunk of coal in your stocking?"

Trainman2 posted:

Santa loves the Claustropbic joke.

As for the other joke, Santa says, "How'd you like a nice hunk of coal in your stocking?"

I’ll take it!  Gotta run that Mohawk on something.  

If only Alfred Perlman felt that way.

D500 posted:

So, the Santa Fe had locomotives which could be styled: "Rudolf's Red-Nosed Diesels", could they not?

 

Hmmmm.... I have heard that before somewhere....let me think????????????

Trainman2 posted:

If only Alfred Perlman felt that way.

He destroyed a lot of em’. And Hudsons and Niagaras too.

And it's too bad he did, because a real J-1e would have looked great under the big tree in Rockefeller Center.

"He [Perlman} destroyed a lot of em’. And Hudsons and Niagaras too."

Yes - Mr. Perlman was one of the worse things ever to happen to the rail fan and model RR fields of interest and history. How many UP 4-8-8-4's were saved? A dozen or something like that? Each worth more in scrap weight value than any individual Hudson, Mohawk or Niagara - but we have 2 Mohawks, no (NYC) Hudsons and no Niagaras remaining. That's just obscene.

And would it have killed the PRR to save some of their interesting steamers?

If you think about it, nearly all of the famous Lionel Steamers are based on something that no longer exists, like the Hudson, the PRR turbine, and my favorite, The Blue Comet. Thankfully we still have the N&W J.

Well, I asked Santa if he delivered the Christmas Tree to New York City, but he said, " No, Rockefeller sent 'er."

Then I asked him why he let the elves who deliver the White House Christmas tree play cards, he said, "I want them over Trump."

Santa told the elves not to touch the sharp edges of the icicles. They didn't listen, and got cold cuts.