Sad Milestone for the Layout

Some parents that I am acquainted with limit their child's time with electronic games.  Once the time is over, the electronic games are put away.  Same goes with the TV and internet.  Children need to use their imagination to entertain themselves rather than be glued to electronic games, smart phones and computers.  In the long run, they will develop into responsible adults.

 

I do this with my two grand daughters and now my son has learned it is the best way also.  When they are not on game time, we go to interesting places, do and build things and even teach them to help others.  Most people don't do this though....the word NO is not used in the household vocabulary.  Remember, it's just my opinion....no more and no less.

 

Steve, Lady and Tex

Oh yeah!  My youngest son Max was very much into toy trains up until about two years ago.  At that point, he quit attending train shows with me and rarely came down to the basement to operate trains or work on his layout. 

Fortunately, he maintained his interest in prototype railroads and will go railfanning with me occasionally.  His main interests these days are his truck, hunting and finishing up school.

There is hope where toy trains are concerned, however!  About two weeks before Christmas he suddenly started a new project on his layout and even asked for an MTH building or two for Christmas.

He and I were both down in the basement last evening and he was explaining some changes he would like to make to his layout.

Curt

Who is/are the construction crew? Do the two of you participate on this together? Do you make it so he feels he has accomplished something? Or developed something that is his idea? Does he have "ownership" of part of the permanent layout?

 

Gerry

TexSpecial.....thanks for the feedback.  My wife and I limit the time our kids get to spend with their electronics--none during the week and about an hour each day on the weekends if chores and other projects or activities are completed. 

 

But most of their friends already have ipads, iphones, tvs in their rooms, laptops, etc., so  it is an uphill battle but one we feel is worth the effort.

 

My son does enjoy reading books and we encourage him to read at every opportunity.

Been there done that!   With two boys, I watched them grow out of their fascination with trains into all of the usual things that preteens and teenagers get involved with. Other hobbies, toys, cars, and college. And girls! 

 

Funny you posted this because I just watched one of the TM Video DVDs ("A Lionel Christmas") and EVERY guy interviewed said the train hobby took a back seat to something else but they all eventually returned. Sort of a natural cycle.

 

Hang in there and keep working on the basement layout. He'll get tired of that Xbox  sooner or later! 

I had six grandchildren here Christmas day, now it's true I only have a small set up, 4'x5' with one loop of standard gauge, with one of the newer Lionel/mth trains going around the perimeter, I asked if anyone wanted to run the train, all I got was six "no thank you's", been this way for a couple of years now.......  I used to put up a 6'x14' in the living room, and it never got a break!  I see no future model Railroaders in my family,  uh such is life.....

You can only do the best you are able to do.  Outside your home it is difficult to control what happens.  You just have to hope the kids do what is best.  I'm not a real religious person, but I found taking them to church and being around some great kids their own age really helps. 

 

I would like to see some photo's of your basement layout, sounds interesting. 

 

Steve, Lady and Steve

I set up mine at Christmas for me. If I depended on anyone else's participation or recognition, it would never happen. None of my kids followed me into the hobby and it hasnt been a great loss to anything I care about.

Hey trains belong under the tree. 

Nuff said. 

Went to G gauge because of the cats and they tipped the cars over regardless numerable times. No fancy elaborate setup beyond a circle of track.No big deal to set up or break down.

Now guys, I know you are disappointed....  I have 16 grandchildren age 2-16 years.  Everyone of them were enthralled by the trains when they were in the 18 month to 5 years of age.  Once they started going to school, meeting new friends, learning new experiences and quite frankly becoming independent they backed off the trains!!!  (Yes it starts at about 5 years of age.)  I still have three diehards but, the rest are just intrigued.  They move on...  The memories will always be there.  They always come and check out my new updates.  The seeds have been planted.  Time will...

 

I am still having fun.....

 

 

The sad REALITY of life and growing up with what is today available to entertain.

Thanks for the update Curt. Max was a regular 'fixture' and participant here back then when I was new. It was good to see a young fella like that into trains. 

Was wondering what had become of him...

My son bailed out on me a little over a year ago.His last york was in Oct of 2012.

He made 14 consecutive yorks with me up until that time...The last 3 where in my opinion were just ploys to get out of school for the day (he hated grammar school)

Now he is a 14 year old freshman who likes school and was just 2 points shy of making the honor roll. He has about three gaming systems including the latest PS4.

 

BUT !!!

 

He also has a basketball coach who "owns him" and a JV baseball coach who already told me not to expect to see him much after the basketball season is over.

 

So between school and his after school sports he has hands full and the PS4 is contingent on his grades which are accessible 24/7 on a Power School program...so one misstep ....its gone !

 

As for me it was disappointing when when he lost interest.

On the other hand its good because I can go to York for 3 days...his mother

would never sign off on more than one day of missed school .

 

 

 

 

 

Sure -- me.

 

I drifted away from trains when I was in my teens.  But then I came back to them after I got married, and I haven't been away since.  It's normal enough. 

 

As for the Kewl iToys, well, there wasn't any of that silliness when I was a teenager.  Instead, I spent twenty-five years working in the computer field, so there may be some balance in the universe after all.  It was you who bought him the Xbox, after all.

 

It's not unusual to start worrying that you're not "grown up" if you "play with trains" when you reach adolescence.  Once we get far enough along in life to be sure of ourselves, we stop worrying about such things and can pursue hobbies without sweating about whether or not our friends will think we're immature.  Just wait five or ten years, and he'll either start taking an interest again, or he'll move on into a different area entirely.

 

While our 2 boys are a bit older (26 & 30) they still love the trains - so much so that they threw a fit a few years ago when I was threatening to sell some.

 

We always tried to have a balanced home life. Fortunately (?) smartphones and iPads weren't around when they were in school, so they just had the computer, which we limited.  To this day, they read novels and like to participate in outdoor activities in their off-time.

 

I recently became re-engaged in the hobby and have set up a small 4x6' layout in a spare room just a few weeks ago.  They came over a few days ago (we were out) and then started running the trains. Since I'm still in the early stages of putting up this layout, I'm only running TMCC thru a powerhouse and powermaster - no traditional transformer (yet).  They started sending txts showing the trains in action, so I called and asked how they got them running with the TMCC. Bless their hearts they just figured it out.

 

Then, once we returned home, it all started - I have some of the better pieces still in boxes scattered around the house. They remembered each one and "demanded" that I dig out each one they remembered to give it a trial run on the new layout.

 

Oh, yeah; they never really cared that much about them once in middle/high school. Never stopped loving them, but just had other hormonal things on the brain.

 

There is hope.

Gentlemen,

    I only have one child, my daughter is deaf, deaf kids had texting machines way before they were ever popular, no way to keep a deaf person especially a girl off of a machine, that they can actually communicate with, lost her long ago to the electronics and the deaf culture.  My daughter lost all interest in trains, and I know how you feel about the changing culture, I have been living it for a long long time.  

PCRR/Dave

consider yourself lucky that you got your son up to 11 1/2. My son started distancing himself from the trains at about 7 once he got hooked on video games.

Steve

Nothing to worry about at all.  Your son in approaching his teen years, and at that time of life all sorts of other interests come into play. If it wasn't Xbox, it likely would be something else.  It's not possible to assure another individual's interest in anything, be it trains or anything else.  You can encourage it, but that's about all.

 

Your son had enjoyable experiences with the trains when he was young, and you can be pretty sure there's a good chance that the interest will be rekindled later in life.  But that's not something you can directly influence in an overt way.

 

If you have your own layout to work on, devote your time to that and don't worry about the non-interest your son in currently displaying.  And do place something simple around the Christmas tree next year--keeping the tradition alive and making the Mrs. happy.

 

The vast majority of people on this forum were just like your son when they were his age. They may not have had all the digital and electronic gadgets today's kids have, but you can be darn sure that, for most of them, toy trains were put away once they approached or entered their teen years.

 

Always keep in mind that it's YOUR hobby because you want it to be and you are enjoying it;  It's only THEIR hobby if they feel the same way.  It comes from the heart!

My son was interested when he was young but has a lot of other interests now, Xbox is a big one but school band and hockey etc also.  I'll wait for him to come back to the hobby.  One of my daughters is in her second year of college and she and I have a date set to go to the Allentown spring show In Feb.  I really believe when all three of my children are a little older they will be interested in the hobby. There are tremendous amount of distractions while kids grow up. 

Thanks everyone for the great responses so far.  I had hoped I had a couple more years before the girls, cars, and gadgets took him away.   He is a great kid, involved in Boy Scouts, plays on the football and baseball teams, and participates in youth group at church.  I am by no means upset or frustrated with him, but will miss the great times that we had working on and running trains. 

 

I will continue to enjoy the hobby and feel confident that his interest will return one day...mine didn't return until I had kids of my own....so maybe his will too.  As long as he is happy, I am too. 

I am not the least surprised with your turn of events. As Allan stated, when the kids reach their teens, interests change.

 

Christmas layouts should be fun for the entire family. They can be a lot of work depending upon the complexities, but if you and your wife got enjoyment from your Christmas layout, to me that would be well worth the effort expended. If you did not, you need to rethink what you do next year.

 

For us, my wife and I are it, and we both really enjoy very aspect of having a Christmas layout. The work to put it together is a very rewarding experience.

It is a sad truth that as our children get older, they almost invariably and increasingly have lives of their own that don't involve us.  This continues, as best I can see, well into their twenties and thirties.  They still value us and care about us, but their lives are their own.  It's not easy and it makes me sad at times, but I'm delighted they are healthy enough and socially well adjusted enough to have made their own lives. I treasure whatever time they have with us. 

 

Besides your feelings on the matter, it's a good thing your child has a mind of their own. That's a good thing.

 

 

Rick

c. sam, GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP MAX'S NAME. I remember Max geing on here a few years back. Yes he really was into trains. Seems like he had an intrest in the TRANZ PLACE also there in GA. He probably will be like a lot of us and get busy withhis school intrest and friends and a career and down the road he will want to reaquair the train intrest. I think many people go through that transitation.

 

Curt I think he will be just fine. He has had a good deep grounding in the hobby and at somepoint he will return, it might be a good while but he will.

My son was huge into trains at 3 yrs old. reason I got back into trains. We did everything together. Large carpet layouts, train shows, railfanning, day out with Thomas. At 7 he learned to use a computer, video games. That was the end. He doesn't want anything to do with trains.

 

I still run trains and enjoy the hobby.

well, if he made it. to that age, even with a modicum of interest, to paraphrase "Ahhnold", he'll be back! 

 

Jerrman

Curt,

 

     I do not know how long it will take…..maybe even many years after college….but I know Max will be back building his dream layout someday. He has been around some wonderful folk and wonderful layouts in the club from Bill Dischinger's, Eric Siegel's, Jay Cain's and a whole bunch of others too numerous to list. I know that he has that inner desire to build and create that ultimate layout. You have been a major influence in that and he has been around trains his whole life. It will be when he has his own money and time to commit to that dream project. He just might out do all of us!

 

Rick

 

It's no different than people who buy a second home on the lake or beach thinking about how many family weekends would be spent there.  Well as the kids get older, they get wrapped up in their friends and other activities and the frequent trips to that house get whittle down to a few per year. 

 

I agree that you should still put up at least a loop every year.  I can totally relate to how much work is involved with setting up a Christmas layout.  Unless others will be interested in seeing and operating it, I just cannot convince myself to go through that amount of work.  But I bet if you took away the Christmas trains for a year, he would ask where they were and would miss them. 

 

The other thing I wonder is if you could incorporate some other hobby of his into the layout.  Say he was a big outdoors person into hunting, fishing, snowboarding etc.  Well get some of the Dept 56/Lemax log cabins, ski lodges, etc and build a mountain scene for your Christmas layout.  Focus more on the modelling of some other hobby he has than the trains.

 

Another idea is if he is getting into technology, then have him incorporate that interest into the layout.  Give him a flip cam to put on one of the cars and record the trip and have him make movies. 

The permanent layout has to be finished in a spectacular manner.

 

Then you can put a Christmas tree in the basement.

 

Andrew

Video games hit my house hard in the last 4 months. We've had them for a while, but lately my 17 year old has pushed passed all previous records. He's home safe playing the games live on line with his friends. He has a driver license, but he's home safe and that's what counts. The girls he's met in high school so far are some of the worst behaved people imaginable. Rude, arrogant, narcissistic. He's learned to stay clear and this is his way of coping I guess. Video games are the new trains these days. I suppose there was a school of thought back in the day that playing with trains kept a kid from enjoying what the previous generation thought was best. I can't force him to do it my way - it will only widen the divide.

 

Perfectly normal transition in life. I'm not sure when my interest in trains went to zero but it was probably around 16. Cars, girls, sports and you name it had more interest.

However the love did not go away for ever. It may have taken 20 years but it came back and this time for good.

 

The same has happened with my daughter who is now 17, from age 8-16 she ran the trains, help build a layout, went to train stores you name it.

 

I'm sure it will come back with a little more age just like it did with me.

 

I did downsize my Christmas layout this year too. It is abut 1/4 the size that I use to put out. I'm sure when I have grandkids it will grow again. My wife did like the fat that she could walk through the living room this year.

I went through a similar phase.  Atari 2600 and mid-teens struck and my interest in trains shifted away.  Once I had my own house and had settled in, the train itch came back in a big way.

 

Andy

I have no idea if my younger son will stay with it and I am not worried if he does or does not.  He is sitting next to me right now as I type, building an AM radio with the snap circuit kit he got for Christmas.  He will play with his xBox one and probably wear down the battery on my wife's iPhone.  I have the batteries charged for our Super Cub and we are waiting for the wind to die down (hopefully tomorrow) for his first lesson on my old plane.

I am going to build my layouts, include my kids, not worry about them adopting my hobby and see were it all pans out.  I know one thing, the train layout is part of the family lore.

 

-Ted

Strange.....Nobody seems to be interested in joining their kids or grandkids in playing their video games.  That would be one way of joining them in an activity they are interested in.  A hobby is something YOU decide to take up for whatever reason.  There is no way you can entice or force anyone into your hobby.  My kids and grandkids never sat on a rock in front of our house and watched a literal parade of steam trains go past, they never went on steam fantrips, rode in cabs of steam engines, rode on a train, knew anyone who worked on real trains, never travelled on trains, never laid curled up in a seat on a midnight train et c.  Those are MY memories not theirs.  So how could I expect them to have more than a passing interest in my trains as just
toys that daddy likes for year after year?  Even video games will get boring as the kids get older.  They will develop their own interests in hotrod cars, skiing, stamp collecting, art and painting, travelling etc on their own, and you can only look on with polite interest.  I have always advised newcomers to the hobby that you can only do the hobby for yourself.  You can't take up a hobby to amuse anyone else; you can only do it for yourself.
       How many of you have heard embarassed modellers say,"Oh these trains are not me....Oh no, no.  They're just for the kids, heh, heh.....not for me"  Well your trains really are for you so get over it.  You'll feel better.   Odd-d

A sad day? Not if it you have happy memories of enjoying it while you could.

How many kids or adults never even get the chance for a layout at all?

odd-d

I do play video games, but not the same ones by a stretch.

I'm done with the trigger twitch and reaction games.

I play simulations of Real Things I can't afford to do in reality.

And some that are set well in the Future.

 

My kids never got into trains, I got back in too late.

I do have several Great nieces and nephews that enjoy playing with them.

I actually bought a Thomas the Train starter set this past weekend, made the mistake of taking 3 of them with me to the LHS...

 

Wife was aggravated but got over it when she saw how much time they spent with it over the weekend. I then expanded the loop with O-54 curves and more straights. Later I'll toss in a couple switches so they can do more than run circles.

 

And get this, they wanted me to keep it so it doesn't get broken at their house!

 

The older one wasn't interested in Thomas, she runs my DCS trains, but she wanted scenery items (actual read made trees), got her a roll of grasspaper and a tree kit. She was happily making trees.

My son is 26. He has a half finished around the wall HO layout in the basement. I am not allowed to touch it, because he vows to finish it.

 

Regarding electronics, he has a career position in computers and is familiar with many of the games. He even devised an APP that Apple sells.

 

But, trains are a constant in his life. He has always been interested in them. He has blended them with the electronics all the kids like. In other words, he can do both and neither are opposed o each other.

 

I visited him and his girl friend at Thanksgiving and took Lionel trains. Set them up on their floor. He took a video and posted it on FB and his girl friend commented she liked them.

 

So, there is hope for the future.

It's something to read these posts here as the same occurred to me with my son who built a 7 x 7 fastrack layout under my own layout. Up until he was 12 or 13 years  old, he was really into toy trains and came to most shows with me including York when he was really younger.

I just dismantled the 7 x 7 layout the other day as neither of us use it and we need storage space under my layout for odds N' ends. I'm in the midst of building more shelving to house the trains off that layout plus from my layout. His is 20 now, going to college, coaching rec soccer and working full time in a Staples mgmt program.

He did help me take down the layout he built and I keep reminding him to take notice of the trains I have acquired over the past 30 years because these will be yours someday! I expect him to grasp hold the hobby like I did about 30 years ago when I re-entered the hobby. I was just like him having trains when I was a youngster.