BobbyOgauge shows a fix for "slamming" the couplers to get them to close that I have recommended for years - build up the "tongue" so that the incoming knuckle can push it all the way in.
Older thumbtack couplers can have their armatures bent slightly upward, with pliers, just a bit, to hold the pin higher.
Weaver plastic couplers are so bad (won't open far enough; won't close - could this even be called an "operating coupler"?) that I treat them like dummies.
Weaver die-cast are much better; not the best, but not bad.
Weaver used to sell plastic dummy couplers (the real dummies) that fit their trucks just as the "operating" ones do. I ordered a couple of dozen a few years ago; great for 3-railing 2-rail project cars with odd trucks. Just like the thumbtack couplers, but non-operating.
Weaver is, of course, no longer able to fill any orders. Sigh. Miss them a lot.
Kadees are not perfect, by a long shot. Personal experience in operating sessions on others' layouts. Kadees can be maddening, too.
However, they are less troublesome than the various brands (there's the clue as to what is largely wrong with O-gauge knuckle couplers - same design done to different levels of design standards and materials).
Suggestion: all the O-gauge "biggies" contract with Kadee to build their new trucks/couplers using their (Kadee's) coupler design, but to the traditional O-gauge knuckle coupler size. They would mate with Lionel (etc) so that the Good Ones could continue to be used. I find most to be "Good Ones".
Retrofit kits?
BTW, I believe that Kadee's #1 scale (1:32) couplers will mate with Lionel (etc) couplers...???