Nearly 18 years on eBay, and only two bad experiences. One cost me $6 and wasn't train related. The other, concerning a Lionel MDC GP9, was resolved.
I prefer to, and do, buy new locomotives from hobby dealers in store or online. But for old stock not available from those sources, I use eBay. Its automated search function and notification features make it an incredibly easy way to find what I'm looking for.
I look at every seller's rating before bidding, and if the percentage drops below 99, I filter for negative reviews. Then I decide to bid or buy, and I do so wisely, never bidding more than I am willing to pay.
When people use the word Fleabay, I take it as a derogatory term. It certainly suggests a less-than-objective attitude toward eBay.
eBay has an effective protection policy. I know people other than myself who have used it. It exists. To suggest otherwise again shows a less-than-objective attitude on the topic.
If you don't want to use eBay, fine. But for those posting slanted replies to the OP's original issue, please don't try to convince others that eBay is a dangerous market inferior to other forms of train transactions. None of them are perfect, from brick-and-mortar sales to York dealers. But eBay builds and maintains protections better than any of them.