Hey Ron:
I just got done installing Kadees' on four of the 18 inch MTH cars and I agree with one point you made, how can the cars NOT be the same in terms of needing the same spacer. I found this out the hard way as I based all my shims/spacers off of the first car. After I had made all the shims and started to install them on the other cars, did I find that each car was close, but not the same. Not even end to end on the same car. So I would recommend doing one car at a time... even if it is the "same" car. None of these cars had shims included, not really a problem, because I probably would not have used them and its easy to make your own.
Next problem, I had the same problem with the stiff diaphragms and gave the owner each option. Either keep the 805's and trim the rubber diaphragms back or install the Kadee 746, long shank coupler.
We went with the 746 shank coupler and the cars are good down to 054 curves. Also, since the boxes are already installed, you can just drop in the 746 coupler without changing the box.
Lastly, yes, you will need to cut/remove the tongue from the truck if you are planning (as shown in the pictures) to body mount the Kadees. If you wanted to truck mount the couplers, you can keep the tongue. Again, not really a big deal. If you really needed to go back, the trucks can be purchased.
Hope that helps.
Charlie