Russell,
Kadee does make electric uncouplers, item 810, but I don't know if it's for 3-rail use, I kinda doubt it.
They also make an in between uncoupler, item 809, that uses magnets, but it's restrictive on how it's used. They're placed in one spot permanently (more or less).
I think what you're looking for is a Kadee coupler that opens by pressing a button, I don't think they've one yet.
I open mine manually using a plastic tuning wand that was made for TV repair. Looks like a small plastic screwdriver on one end and a metal flat blade on the other. A simple twist and the couplers uncouple. But you have to be within reach to do it.
What we need is a magnetic wand (with an extension arm and a light) that could be passed over the couplers to make them uncouple automatically.
I used to have an uncoupler when I was in HO that looked like a "h" with a long vertical handle. It had a magnet on the inside of each small leg of the "h". I forget who made it but I might try making one to use for O scale. Seems like in HO the room between 2 cars was so narrow that I was always derailing them, hitting the cars with the tool. With O scale there's a bit more room so it might work.
Using Kadees gives you a more realistic gap between cars, but it also means you'll probably need broader curves than what a lot of O-gauge modelers use. My minimum curves are 0-54, anything else and you will probably get derailments.
So, there are some limitations to using Kadees, but if you can overcome the obstacles (mostly tight curves and ability to reach) they can increase the overall enjoyment of model railroading even more.