Wyhog said:
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That is a VERY OLD joke, but still funny. I heard that one when I worked on the Penn Central in the early 1970s.
One cannot vouch for the authenticity of any of the lore or tales told 'round the depot late at night when several crews are in the midst of a good "BS'n Session".
As I recall, this particular tale was told during a night when there were three or four crews waiting to get their paperwork in order to get started with their shift. (I was waiting on KCS Bulletins so I could enter their yard later.) I do recall getting quite a guffaw out of it when said story/lore/tall tale was told by one of the KCS crews that was attending said "BS'n Session". Was it a "sure'nuf, really, really happened" event? I didn't know... didn't worry about it, frankly. It was funny and we all had a good laugh.
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However, most railroad radios today... <snip: tattle tale technology>... So I suggest if one likes his/her job you don't try such things very often. Real crew members HAVE been disciplined using this technology.
Fortunately, I'm not a foul-mouthed individual, so that's not a problem. However one night I DID let the "s" word slip out when communicating with the Conductor when I was very, VERY frustrated with a poor performing set of power that was being contrary during a hard pulling move. Shame on me.
Some of the funnier radio bloopers I've personally heard were accidental and/or unintentional. Take this incident for example...
I was sent on a multiple week loan-out by the company I worked for at the time. When I hit the Yard Office/TM's office to check-in, he asked what job I wanted to work. I said "whichever one was getting the most hours and nobody else wanted to work it." (Why kill time in a strange town when I could be simply working/eating/sleeping? Made more money that way, and the time passes quicker.)
He indicated that would the graveyard switch job, for it often died on the law. Sounded good. After a quick briefing, it was off to check-in at the motel, set up "home" and get some sleep before the 10 PM call time.
It was indeed a busy job, and during the course of the night there were several trains into/out of the yard... so there were two or more crews switching at once. Those of you that have worked for a railroad know how much radio traffic that generates, and how all of you have to really keep your head cut-in to keep everyone safe.
I was working with two ground crewman: A Conductor and Brakeman. The Conductor was a sharp fellow that definitely knew what he was doing. The Brakeman had recently graduated from his two weeks of Ground School, and had just finished his OJT. He was now "officially" marked-up and at last was a shore-nuf "Railroader". (He really wanted to be one.) I think I recall this was his first week as a marked-up employee.
Anyway, "Kevin" was a nice kid... but he sure liked the biscuits n' gravy... for he most definitely was NOT a "svelte" sort of fellow, but instead a bit on the "portly" side. However, he really was a good kid and really was trying.
As the night wore on, there were a couple of times after bringing me to a joint that Kevin opened the angle cock too quickly after lacing up the air hoses. That puts the cut/train into emergency with a loud "POW!". He always apologized, but of course, we still reserved the right to raze him about it.
We were shoving to yet another joint and Kevin was counting me down to the joint among all the other radio chatter that was taking place on the other jobs. Once the joint was made, his radio crackled "Redzone 1122".
"Set and centered on the 1122." I responded.
"POW!!!". (He had blown us up again.)
Trying to explain what happened, his choice of words and phraseology was a bit... umm... unfortunate:
"Sorry... gotta' stiff cock."
The radio traffic IMMEDIATELY went stone cold SILENT.
Then we all busted out laughing and NEVER let the poor young man forget that one!!!