How do You Feel About Others' Viewpoints About You an O-Gauge Trains?

"When I retired this past March, the folks at work were asking my wife what they could get me.  She only thing she could think of was the locomotive I had just ordered.  They found out what it was and took up a collection; the company kicked in the balance.  At my retirement dinner the company president presented me with a picture of the Lionel VL Big Boy in an engraved frame from all of my friends."

 

Dan, I read your post with great interest as it is straight from the heart. You are obviously someone who is very special to a lot of folks as evidenced by this wonderful retirement gift. Thanks for a very enjoyable post.

It is funny because if you say "collector" then the stigma disappears. It is as if you know something is valuable while the listener does not.

 

My very first post ever on OGR was about this. Now, I don't care. Love me?; then love my trains.

Hey…if I'm doing it..it must be the thing to do.Nick

I don't go out of my way to tell others that I am into trains. Except for a couple subtle artwork pieces on the walls you wouldn't know if you stayed out of the spare bedroom and the garage. In the past, when I was dating, that topic was skipped unless asked directly. Even now, when I'm in a work-related class and as part of the introduction/ice-breaker they ask for an activity/hobby, I will tend to shy away and use other interests such as gardening and hiking. I do have some traces of autism (before there even was a name for it) and that has affected how I view the social world and unfortunately that has been used to categorize me as an oddity to others : "that's why he acts like that" or "that's why he's into trains."

 

That doesn't stop me from actively engaging with other like-minded folks. I've bene in clubs, I'm active in the TCA, have a FB page, etc. I'm very passionate in what I do and no one will change it or me.

 

Peter

I couldn't care less what others think about my hobby.  Some folks like hearing about it and others' eyes glass over if you tell too much.  So stop talking and move on.  Some of those folks have no hobby at all and wish they hadn't retired or have already gone back to work.  I feel sorry for them.

.....

Dennis

We went out to dinner last week with a local couple who wanted to see our Christmas decorations. The gentleman is 62 and has been retired on a medical disability for a few years, though he is well enough to chop and carry firewood and do what is required to maintain his property. I asked him what he did to occupy his time and got no definitive answer. I told him how much O-Gauge trains had meant to me for so many years and how it was a wonderful way to keep the ole brain functioning with something that is very constructive. To my knowledge, my comments went straight over his head as there was little to no interest in what I was saying, so I quickly dropped the subject as it was having a zero impact.

 

What I did learn during their visit is he regularly sees a psychiatrist and is on related meds. Moral of my story, O-Gauge trains are good for your health and I do not need a psychiatrist or depression medications (although after they left, perhaps he thinks I am the one who needs help ).

I've noticed that the younger folks have a harder time with this.  IDK why... perhaps they are still too influenced by their peer group.  Perhaps it's because they are more electronic oriented than hands-on hobbyists.  I have a great deal of respect for the latter, regardless of age.  

 

At my RR club, the youngest member is 14, and the oldest is 84. We all get along great, and we all enjoy Connor (the 14 year old member) and his mom.  The best part is taking him under our wings and explaining the way things used to be, and how they are now with model trains.  I'm his Legacy advisor!  Scary huh?

Sometimes I tell people about my trains, but usually I don't go around telling every one that I have O gauge trains. However, if someone ever asks about my hobbies or what I do in retirement for hobbies, O gauge trains are first on the list.

 

I am also way to old to worry about what others think, so that is not a problem with me. If they like trains that's fine, if they don't that's fine too, I like them just the same either way.  

Most people i know, know about my trains. I lead with this, when folks ask to see a picture, or the conversation turns to pictures. I'm extending my 15nsec of fame (I didn't make the meme of my 2009 layout, it came back in response to a post I made about my 2013 layout.

That said, no one likes to feel bad about themselves. To anyone here embarrassed about their trains, everyone needs some fun, this is part of your fun! I hope you find comfort.

Frankly, I don't care what people think!!! It's what I like to do, It's my money and I don't tell others what to do with their money. I'm not ashamed to tell people (if they ask) that I have model trains!!!!

This is a long response, so please bear with me.

 

I am 24 years of age. I tend to keep my train hobby to myself, mostly because of the negative reactions that I have gotten from most people that discover that I am a model railroader and collector (no layout as of now, but working on a design for next winter). My parents and sisters have told me on multiple occasions that not only is it a waste of my time and money, but that it is downright stupid. Every time that a box arrives in the mail, they assume that it is another train that I have ordered and start giving me flak about "wasting my time" on a dumb hobby. The last locomotive I ordered off of eBay (ATLAS O Trainman Santa Fe RSD-4/5 with TMCC) nearly a year ago got me a lecture from my parents about my wasteful hobby. It is frustrating, but I am used to it. 

 

It took nearly a full year for them to stop giving me a hard time about each issue of Classic Toy Trains that arrived for me in the mail. Not sure how they will react when they start seeing the first issue of my two-year subscription to OGR arrive in the mail in the next few weeks. Assuming it will be like what they did when I started getting CTT in the mail, looks like I will have to put up with their displeasure of my interests again. 

 

Unfortunately, this same mindset is shared by nearly everyone that I know in my neck of the woods. They give me a hard time about being a fan of model railroading and real-life railroads in general, saying that it is "an old person's hobby or something for little kids". People in middle school used to tease me for liking "baby trains" and would crack off various Thomas the Tank Engine references at me, even though I had not watched that show (it ran on PBS as part of Shining Time Station) since I was 7 years old. 

 

I only know four people who also share the same love of model railroading and real-life railroads, and they work at a model train store. That is why I tend to keep to myself about my hobby but with several excellent forums online to be apart of with like-minded people, I can finally be myself regarding my enjoyment of the hobby around others. I am glad that I found this forum so I can interact with others who share my passion of not only model railroading, but trains in general. 

 

Geez, how could anyone give flak for such a great hobby.

Next time they say it is for little kids, point out to them the cost of the Lionel Vision Big Boy!

When I worked at the Navy base, my co-worker and I brought in a couple of trains and ran track across everyone's desks.

This was a Submarine Warfare Training Center and everyone from young sailors to older Admirals came thru that place, even an occassional Navy Seal.

Everyone thought it was cool beyond cool.

The Toy Train Hobby is nothing to be embarrassed about. Many Actors have private collections that run in the $$$, and there are many Professionals, Lawyers, Professors, and Bankers, and then Car Salesmen, into this Multi Faceted Hobby.

Everyone where I work know my Love for Model Trains, and all of my Customers, which is pushing 3900 know of my interest in trains. When I show them the Lionel Catalogs and the Engines I purchase, they stop in their tracks. Many of my customers have visited my Home, and continue to visit anually. If you think about it, model railroading is, carpentry, electrical, design oriented, and lots of good old Imagination. Its a Fun Hobby, Happy Railroading.

California Railfan508,

 

That's really a shame about your immediate family chiding you on your hobby.  It's one thing if it's coming from siblings, acquaintances or friends, but your own parents, especially now that you're grown up and you make your own decisions.  At any rate, don't let them or anyone else deter you from enjoying the hobby.  It's on them, not you, for having problems with the concept of enjoying it.

 

I see that you're from Chico.  I was born & raised not far from Chico; used to go there quite often growing up.  In fact, my brother went to CSU up there (that was during the time when CSU was rated the #1 party school by Playboy magazine a couple of years in a row); he and I shared an apartment across the street from Bidwell Mansion for a time.   Of course, the UP (former SP) mainline goes through the west side of town.  Always loved Bidwell Park too; always used to bike & hike through there.  Of course, the outdoor scenes from the original Robin Hood with Errol Flynn were filmed there.

 

I guess the biggest downside to Chico is that it's pretty bone-dry when it comes to shared interests in model trains.  No LHS or clubs were ever there when I was up there; closest hobby shop worth its salt is the Western Depot down in Yuba City.  Chico is one of those places where you have little choice but to buy trains online.  However, there is one other forum member here by the name of Tiffany who I believe is retired and lives in Chico, so she's one that you could probably get to know so at least you don't feel like a total O gauge island.

One could decidedly do much worse than participate in the hobby of model trains! 

I really don't care what other people think of my hobby. I do it because I like it. Most people who don't understand the attraction to a hobby like this usually have no hobbies of their own. They really have no clue.

 

When people come into my yard and see this, they know I'm serious about my hobby.

 

 

I proudly tell everyone.   I could pretty much care less what others think about the hobby.

-Greg

Most common perception of model train enthusiasts from the outside looking in:

 

 

But not to worry, our hobby isn't the only one that has to endure this stigma.

 

 

Dewey,

 I feel you pain my brother... the LAST time I played. My mom. ( yes my mom )

 beat me by 4 strokes. Haven't played since.

 

 

I like to think I don't care about what other people think,  but I never bring it up unless asked.  Maybe I'm mostly just embarrassed  by one of the follow-up questions: "How much have I spent on it".

 There are very few hobbies that someone will not demean.  Sometimes it is because they resent your enjoyment or they have to put everybody down.

  Compared to other hobbies model trains have few critics, it is not illegal, immoral, or fattening.

  I enjoy shooting at targets, and hunting these hobbies get a lot more criticism than model trains. Some people are always suspicious of anybody with a gun, even if it is in a locked discreet case. The problem is so bad I have musical notes on my rifle case so it looks like I have a musical instrument instead of a rifle. My shotgun case has decals stating it contains maps.

 Some people are so critical of all guns I just never bring up the subject if I can help it. 

  I have heard people being critical of collecting commemorative plates, Indian artifacts, and fossils, so somebody will be critical of whatever you do.

  Buy your trains, enjoy them, and don't care what other people say. Life is to short to worry about other peoples opinions of yourself.

  Douglas

Generally, I don't care much about what other people think unless the are family or close friends.  For me that is a close circle.  That being said, I am by nature a private person and I tend not to share much about myself or engage people about my interests unless I have a certain level of familiarity with them.  Why this is, I am not sure -- it's just my nature -- but it applies to all things for me.  Frankly, I find it annoying/obnoxious when someone I barely know either wants to talk my ear off sharing everything about themselves within minutes of speaking with them for the first time, or in the alternative when I feel as if I am the subject of a press interview and they start quizzing me about my job, where I live, schools, etc.  Some of this is normal conversation and curiosity, some of it is a lack of emotional intelligence and understanding that no one should interrogate another person out of simple curiosity. 

 

As to any hesitancy about trains, I don't have any now that I am a father of two but I did when I was in high school and college because this is an insecure time when there is a concern that certain things may be perceived to be "not cool" or similar. Kids can be pretty tough and outright mean.  My sense from a distance is we have a few younger members here and it seems like those folks may experience that from time to time and it is unfortunate.

 

I do think that the hobby is one that is not typical.  And so people are curious when they hear you are into trains.  That being said, with people with whom I am familiar, their curiosity is more one of genuine interest in understanding what I like about the hobby, and I am happy to explain it to them:  I like building things, I like electrical tasks and wiring, I like the trains themselves, I like figuring out the layout, making scenery, etc.  It's a creative outlet and from reading this forum it is apparent we have a lot of very creative and gifted people here.

 

Douglas, you must live near Austin!  Most of my buds from Texas are super 2A friendly.  I enjoy your other hobby as well, and have a considerable amount invested in my sport.  Glad to have you here as well.  

This, I feel, is the key to dealing with people when you have almost any type of hobby. People are have another hobby, generally can understand the motivation even if they don't share it.

For example, I take my WW2 Jeep to to two local car shows each summer in most years. While I have no interest in hot rods, I can appreciate the motivation and work from those who have them.

I would assume that if anyone gives any of us a hard time about 'playing with trains' has nothing in their life to compare it to.

I'm married to someone like that, she has no real deep interests in life for anything, so therefore she doesn't understand hobbies in general and usually make denegrating comments about them overall. She refers to anything hobby-related I do as 'playing' which I understand to be her method of derision of the concept.

I've reminded her on several occasions that if:

• I'm not a minor
• I'm not an actor in a role
• I'm not involved in any kind of sport or competition,

Then, it's not playing.

I'm not aware of a single relative or friend who has disdain for my hobby or my involvement in it. In fact, when visiting our home, it is always they who ask to see the trains (I never mention the trains waiting in the basement.) Absolutely no train memorabilia or icons are anywhere else in the house other than the train-room, so they do not have the hobby staring them in the face cajoling them to ask.

 

Once they have descended the stairs to the cellar, they typically remain there for and hour+ (1/4 or 1/2 hr. approx.) in total and that's with a hot buffet waiting upstairs filling the house with aromas. Actually, it has consistently been I who tries to get guests to leave the trains and head upstairs to eat.

 

Thus, I am totally comfortable with trains in my life.

FrankM

P.S. Some first-sights as they hit the foot of the stairs into the basement...

Hello,

I inherited two hobbies from my father: golf in the good weather and model railroading when you can't play golf. When I was in the Air Force, he added a PS to mom's letter informing me that I won the HO model railroad that was on display at the Topsfield Fair that year. I built a few Android kits to while away the time until my enlistment was up.

When I got married, my wife bought me some new clubs to take on our honeymoon to Bermuda. When my dad died and I promised mom that I would remove dad's layout from her cellar, my wife suggested that I save something for us to put around our Christmas tree. That bit of Lionel trains ended up on four banquet tables that were set up in our living room. The HO set up was sold to one of dad's friends when I was too busy with college and work to enjoy it. When my wife and I moved to our condo after we had both retired, a layout of 8 feet by 24 feet has been started for a 3 rail 0 gauge mini Boston & Maine Railroad with a few items from dad's old layout and newly bought items from almost every manufacturer. My wife's only comment is "When is going to be finished so I can invite all of my friends husbands, children, and grandchildren down to our basement to see it?" The condo abuts a golf course and it is a 400 yard walk from our condo to the first tee. And she calls the clubhouse restaurant her second kitchen.

I don't think that I could have a better life!

Man, another one of these threads that took off without me. Got to stop turning my computer off.

 

- I do not readily speak of this hobby to civilians. 

 

- If asked "what interests you?" by a civilian, I will start with "I build models". Sometimes

I get "what kind?". THEN I will say "model trains/model railroading". The responses are

typically surprisingly positive. But not if I start with "model trains". Gotta work these

people in gently. They get frightened easily if it doesn't involve football (where I live)

or hockey (where many of you live).

 

- I do not, by nature, typically wear decorated clothing or caps displaying anything about my hobbies, politics or religion. I do not have bumper stickers on my car (gosh, no!).

My car tag is standard state issue.

 

- Generally I keep quiet about the railroads (real and model) unless I know it's a friendly crowd, because narrow-minded people anger me and I don't want to feel that way when I can avoid it.

I've never encountered a negative reaction when someone finds out that I play with trains.  But then again, I do enough other stupid stuff that it makes trains look relatively normal.

I would stay for a lot more than an hour to see this.

 

"I don't think that I could have a better life"

 

From your story, I would heartedly agree!

Thank you, sir, and I at yours, that's for sure! You'd have to push me out the door!

FrankM

same as the other guy, when I was growing up, my idiot mother was very demeaning to me about my "playing with trains". so much about her..

  since 1996, I have all you guys and SideRod, Barney, Scott ........etc

Food for thought.........a latest medical study found that those who retire without a hobby, or good useful daily goal tend to die earlier that the ones' with a hobby.

Take Jack Nicholsons' defense towards critics, "you don't care about me?  He he he, I don't care for you at all, not one bit......you are USELESS to me!"

    That's kind of acidic, but useful!

 

I used to shoot in local competitions (mostly PPC) and I knit. Cue the razzing on both counts. I rarely shoot any more because I need new contacts and a lighter trigger pull (arthritic hands) so people don't snicker and point about that, at least...but boy, do they make fun of knitting and crochet. Grabbing at the yarn, yanking the project out of my hands, yelling "Baw haw, you dropped a stitch!" when I'm crocheting (long explanation about the difference, but it's not possible) ...something about yarn makes people act like three-year-olds. When I was young, it was even worse because everyone assumed anyone doing needlework was past seventy. One of the "decluttering" experts told me to get rid of all but one hook and one ball of yarn, rip out what I'd done every night and "just play with it again" because "nobody uses any of that stuff." (He was wearing what looked like a handknit scarf and I was wearing a hat, gloves and shawl...)

 

It comes down to this: a lot of people have no life beyond a television set. If it isn't a movie or TV, and there's no celebrity involved--oops, "celeb" now, the word was too long--they not only aren't interested, but also can't imagine how anyone else could be.

 

--Becky (56 and still knitting after 40 years)

I don't go out of my way to bring it up.  If I'm asked what I do for fun, I'll say I'm a train collector.    If they're at all interested they'll usually ask, "Do you have a layout?", or will tell me about someone they know who, etc....  If they don't, well, on to another subject.

This brings up a good point, how many of us get the grief of 'playing with trains' until the same people see the layout or photos of it?

 

I used to get geif from a co-worker about my other hobby or historical re-enacting until one day at an airshow, he bumbled up to my display of WW2 stuff. He just stood there in slack-jawed amazement and admitted later he'd simply didn't understand the scope of what I did or what it looked like in person. After that, he loved seeing photos of the stuff I was doing within that hobby...

I have a coworker who has been with us for about 15 years.  Only recently I saw on Facebook that he "liked" N scale Micro Trains.  He was glad to hear I liked trains too.  He is about 35 and said he usually doesn't tell others he likes trains.  After a while he sent me some photos of his massive on the floor N scale layout, with dozens of engines and hundreds of cars.  He says he usually gets criticized because he has so much so he usually doesn't tell people.  I told him what's it matter, if he likes them and has the money (he is single) then it's great.

Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

    Even Santa does his magic with Trains!

 

PCRR/Dave

Well, they used to think I was a bit off with my love of model trains. But when I told them I could always concentrate on my other hobby, conquering the world and subjugating humanity, they became much more tolerant of my train habit.

My railroad is very personal for me. I build it the way I want to see it. No one else really has any input. Less than six outside people have ever seen my present layout. I build it for me. Like a painter, if I don't like something I've done, I do it over. Don

PTC, thank you for your kind words.