How do You Feel About Others' Viewpoints About You an O-Gauge Trains?

Can the CEO and I be the 7th and 8th persons?  Matt

I openly tell people that I collect and run toy trains. I then tell them I have trains dating back to the 1920's to current and enjoy running/collecting them. Sometimes I have been asked how much I spend and I just tell them it is way less then what I spent on road racing and drag racing. I tell people that this is my hobby of choice to remove the work stress and life stress. People know I volunteer with my train club and most do not say anything negative after that.

Those that do try are met with my sarcasm and then they either apologize, walk away, or usually both.

Scale rail - that is one awesome trestle you have there, and lovely rock work too.

I made up my mind many, many years ago not to allow the opinions of others to affect my life or my way of doing things.  I have loved toy and model trains since I was just a little tot and have never felt inhibited about expressing the pleasure I derive from them.  At this stage of my life I certainly do not envision changing my personality or love of trains.  I have been retired now for seventeen years and when asked about my hobbies I proudly list model trains along with hunting as my two favorite past times.  Perhaps it is because I am a senior citizen now but no one snickers any longer when I mention toy trains.  It was not always so.

Unfortunately, it was quite different when I was a young maturing adult in the work force.  I was badgered and on occasion even insulted about my hobbies by many of my co-workers but I never let it deter me from talking about them; in point of fact the more they "busted my chops" the more I spoke of them.  Eventually, they caught on to the message that I was proud of my involvement in these hobbies until finally the most mean spirited teasing came to an end.  Whether it be hobbies like toy trains or some other facet of life I believe if you stay true to yourself and stand your ground you can endure just about anything life can throw at you.       

WOW this thread took off, 3rd page in 7 hours.

Another WOW for Don's humble picture, looking spectacular!

Now I do have something in common with Don.  The Milwaukee Road.

If I cared about other's viewpoints, back in 1969, I would have sold my pre-War Lionel Hiawatha and kept my wife at the time.  However, I didn't respect her viewpoint, kept the Hiawatha (one of my best decisions) and never had to listen to her viewpoint again.

Her viewpoint was that I was a fool to pay $250 for a TCA Excellent to Like New all original Hiawatha.  At the time there was very little that could compare.

WHAT, Afraid to tell them you run trains?

I am a true train lover... even have it posted on my underwear!

I was truly stunned at someone's comment in the Christmas gift thread, about the way his family viewed his hobby. My family and friends may don't share my interest in toy trains, but they would never say anything bad about it. I don't drink, smoke, gamble, golf or fish. I enjoy trains, toy cars and old sci-fi and horror movies. All hobbies I can enjoy at home, and hobbies I have often shared with my children. My wife has never had a complaint, and she is the only one who really matters. Some of her friends have asked how she stands all of my "stuff", and she pretty much tells them exactly what I just stated above.

 As for talking about it, I don't go out of my way to bore folks with my hobby, but if someone asks what I'm doing for the weekend, I'll certainly tell them. Anybody that knows me, knows what I'm into.

Yeay! Someone else in Tampa running trains! Thank you for your service. My Dad is a Vietnam veteran, USAF with the 555th at Ubon AFB Thailand. 

This is a most fascinating post. I would like to respond with some comments.

I have not been as active on the Forum recently because the Munoz Lines is being dismantled and it is very difficult on me. A time of sadness and introspection. Of course, for a model railroad hobbyist like myself, the trains have always been a source of joy and comfort during times of stress and happiness. I have shared my love of trains with friends, family, and strangers regardless of circumstance. I have, on occasion, been ridiculed and the subject of jokes. Fellow teachers have made jokes and joking references about me and my inordinate love of trains. I always took their comments in stride and continued my journey.

"Still playing with your trains?" some family members would ask.

"How can you get so excited about trains?" Some teachers would say.

My mother always understood from the very beginning and was proud of what I did.

"How much does an outfit like this cost?" some friends would ask.

Through it all, the vast majority of folks I have met were supportive or awed by what I put together. It was all worth it.

To those who are embarrassed about their hobby or who wince when they are criticized for "playing with trains," I say stand up and smile. Laugh, giggle, and shout out, "Hey, I'm happy every minute I spend with the trains. Can you say that about anything in your life?

If not, STUFF IT !

Scrapiron Scher

I really get hammered with the geek dork crap being into Trains, Star Trek, Stargate ect, but I'm 43, married and learned at an EARLY age not to give two craps about what others think of me, my interests or my hobbies. They make ME happy and calm and if they have a problem with it, usually means they have a problem in their life and just want to bring others down and make others feel just as crappy as they are. People like that tend to **** me off to an extent.

I don't care what anyone else thinks........and as long as one is comfortable in his own skin, it really doesn't matter!

Peter

It all depends on your crowd.  If the people around you are are, forgive me language, the "redneck", macho type, any hobby that is more on the nerdy side is not going to be well received.  It's not just trains but anything not involving hunting, big engines, guns, etc.  But around more educated people, there is a lot of curiosity and interest about it.

And it doesn't matter who it is, the sneers quickly subside when they actually see a layout, the things today's trains can do, etc.  Especially in O-gauge with all of the smoke and sounds.  This isn't your father's HO layout running around a sheet of plywood in the basement.  Everyone's jaws drop when a good smoker comes down the line blasting the whistl.e

Or maybe a t-shirt from teespring? Available till Dec 29

I don't care what anybody thinks of my trains and i been collecting trains for 38 years and i had N scale and HO scale layouts years ago and i just started in O scale in 2002 and 2 years ago. I started another very small N scale layout. 

We have a party annually with around 20 to 30 couples. We are blessed to live on a wooded acre in a rural subdivision. We have very strong margaritas, bar-b-que and then all couples participate in horse shoes, putting green and the pistol range. We have prizes for the top 3 in each contest.

The finale is, I run my trains for everyone. The women love them and are excited. Most of the men stare wistfully at the trains, but they get it, especially the ones that are passionate about riding Harleys or horses, shooting, racing or are avid golfers.

Super yuppies that are only interested in appearances and how much everything costs are not invited back the next year.

I can understand that. I used to do the Rocky Horror Picture thing.

Perfectly stated Peter.  No judgment of others required either.  You look yourself in the mirror when shaving or putting on makeup and you have to be comfortable of your own choices and actions in life.  G 

JD, where did you get those!  LOL  

96 replies in 10 hours, must be a hot button issue.

I learned not to be unappreciative of something you don't care for that someone else likes because you don't want them to knock what you like.

Perfectly expressed.  I readily share my interest in model trains and other hobbies to any willing audience.  If I see that glassy eyed response, I simply move on.  Most of the responses I get are positive, and I often get asked for advice on purchasing starter sets.

Everyone loves it! people are usually kind of surprised when they ask me what I received for Christmas and I tell them trains. All of my friends and family do not think of it as being childish, mostly because of the price of the trains. I think this hobby is so unique and one like no other! I feel so bad for O gaugers that their parents/friends do not support the hobby but continue to be in the hobby! -david 

^^^This.  I couldn't have said it better myself!!

There are two train clubs in Sacramento,if interested contact me.

Mikey

All my close friends are golfers, and we do talk about my trains and they like to see them operate. The big picture is I enjoy O Gauge trains, better then golfing. 

I make no excuses for anything I do.  Why should I??? I'm old, retired, and don't have to answer to anyone else (except my wife, of course).  Over twenty-five years ago, I got into Civil War reenacting and met a lot of interesting people in that hobby (ie. NASA space scientist, cardiologist, lawyers, and every-day people who shared a commonality of interest in this period of our history).  Did some people outside of the hobby cast aspersions?  You betcha.  But I didn't care.  I enjoyed it.  I figured that they didn't have the passion for history like I did and I felt sorry for them in that regard.  They might enjoy watching a big reenactment for entertainment value like they might enjoy seeing a model train going around a platform, but that is as far as it would go.  Some would think it a waste of money and time in either hobby.  Many of those same persons that I've encountered who are critical are not creative people in the first place.  They have no inclination to make a layout, preferring to spend their "valuable" time in more constructive pursuits like watching football games all Sunday afternoon and evening.  I tend to enjoy the by-product of any hobby--social interaction rather than solitary confinement.  So trains and reenacting provide that outlet for me.  It's like my other hobby--music.  I've made so many friends in the music business (all creative people in many ways) with whom I've interacted in a musical setting, performing together.  Anyone who is not a musician cannot appreciate the emotional response one has improvising and communicating musically with like-minded people.  They just will never understand that feeling.  So be grateful that you are in a select group of niche people who have an appreciation for these toy trains, and make no excuses.  I like to tell detractors that it's too bad they can't share that same enthusiasm that I have in all of my hobbies!

I can't say I go out of my way to advertise my involvement in model trains, but I also don't worry too much about seeking approval. I just do what I enjoy in my free time, and if someone else disapproves it is their problem.

Jeff C

I have loved trains all my life.  I am talking about model trains and of course real trains.  I have a few train friends that aren't interested in watching or discussing real trains.  I certainly don't condemn them in any way, but have thought it seems odd to like model trains and have no interest in real ones.

I try not to bore people by talking about my hobby if they show no interest in it, but have never been embarrassed to talk about it. 

Art 

Same here, saw it 251 times in theaters (all real RHPS fans know their counts)

Sometimes it comes up and tell people I wasn't always a poster child for uptight white people.

Interesting post with some really interesting responses.

I think Peter and others really nailed it when they said you have to be comfortable in your own skin.

I find the responses of "I don't care what anyone thinks" a bit odd. I have met VERY few people who don't care what others think. Virtually all of us do care (social media, peer pressure, opinion polls are all huge stuff). But that doesn't mean we allow others to determine our course of action or influence us.

Most non-train people I talk to think that the "toy trains" are pretty neat and then lament the fact that "kids" don't have "real" hobbies.

My adult friends who aren't train people who have visited me at the NJ HiRailers think it is amazing. And that pretty much sums it up.

Happy New Year to all.

Gerry

I don't really care what others think about my trains or other hobbies.  I'm doing it for me, not them.  I figure if they don't like toy trains, it's their loss, not mine.

Everyone I know knows I am a train "Nut". I wear that title proudly. My office at work contains a display NY Yankee train a "Serious Railroader" Plaque and a Pennsylvania Railroad Poster. Even the customers I deal with on a regular basis know I am heavily into trains. I invite everyone I know to my train club's open house and anyone who has seen it knows it is not a silly hobby. This is a great hobby. Wear it proudly! 

I do not care what anyone else things either.

Despite that, I have always had positive responses.

Everyone I mention model trains to, seems to love model trains.

Either that or they are afraid to say otherwise, as I am told I am a physically intimidating person.

Either way, I still wear my Lee Wrangler denim jacket, and do not care what the polyester crowd thinks.

To quote Tom Synder who quoted Frank Sinatra:

"If you don't like this you don't like vanilla ice cream".

I have been into toy trains for over 60 years.  When I was young, many in my family were into it too (father, two uncles, cousins, neighbors).  I was probably six years old before I realized that not everyone on the planet has trains.  I therefore had a lot of family support.

Long ago I saw a TV drama/crime show where the bad guys were sending a woman to distract a rich guy while they robbed his house.  He made a statement on his dating profile that he was into toy trains.  The woman objected to romance with the guy because he was "such a geek".  I have seen that reaction in many and don't go out of my way to tell casual acquaintances that I am into trains.  I tell people when I get to know them.  I find most people are not interested, but being a geek is more accepted today than it was years ago.

My other hobby is sailing.  I live on a sailboat much of the year and sail far and wide offshore.  I get tons of reactions to that, way more than to trains.  "How can you live in such a small space?  Aren't you afraid of storms (yes)?   You are going to be boarded by pirates.  You are going to loose your girlfriend (she likes it more than me)  etc. etc.  Also, trains is not the only hobby that elicits "How much does that cost"

There are hobbies that others are into that I don't care for such as sports, golf, hunting, etc. but I never denigrate their interest.  I was recently at my girlfriends family gathering where everyone was watching football.  I pulled my girlfriend aside "When can we leave to go home and run the Christmas layout".  I find it particularly obnoxious when people with a passive hobby such as watching sports, look down on active hobbies such as trains or historical re-enactments.

Those who get their self worth from others are going to have a problem with a negative reaction to whatever their interest is.  People who are self actualizing and don't define their worth by others are going to more comfortable with whatever their interests are.  For many this is a process of maturing over the years.  I persist with my involvement in trains despite knowing few who are interested.  Thank you for the forum, decades ago I was doing this alone.  Also, there is a real split between people who are mechanically inclined, use tools, make things and those who don't own a screwdriver.  Trains are usually owned by the mechanically inclined.

I feel sorry for the young poster whose family is giving him a hard time.  So many worse things that many young persons could be into. Hang in there with us, they may come around in time.  You could show them some posts about charity layouts and the young person building the Christmas layout in a Michigan theatre.

One other thing we don't talk about much is the role of trains in education and jobs.  Trains as a kid taught me about wiring, electricity and electronics.  I had a professional life in the computer industry (now retired) where I designed wiring systems for large computer networks and data systems.  My intuition and understanding about wiring and hence my job was directly derived from my involvement in toy trains. 

Bill

I would say that is true for over half the US population, I can count on one hand how many people I know who read books on a regular basis (I read at least 2 a week). I  was never much of a TV watcher (no sports, or shows with "canned laughter", to name two). Hardly anyone I know has a hobby, unless you include golf or jogging/running.

In retrospect, I wish that even less people knew about my train hobby. This holiday for example, my employer got into a heated discussion with a friend of his about the train under his Christmas tree. These guys know nothing of trains and have trouble getting the caboose and tender confused during their once a year experience with toy trains. The discussion was whether or not 027 trains could run on 0 gauge track. Unfortunately my boss took the position that 027 could not run on 0. He asked my opinion with his friend listening on speaker phone. When I was done explaining, my employer became embarrassed and thanked me for not backing him up. This is typical of the experiences I have had with too many outsiders to the hobby. One time my record collecting brother-in-law and his best friend came to me with the friend's postwar Scout set. Neither of them would believe it wasn't worth $1000 or more. Months later my wife told me that her brother thought I was trying to scam his friend into selling me a valuable train cheap. My Brother-in-law still holds a grudge about it. This past weekend, a Christmas guest of my neighbor wanted to duke it out over who had the world's biggest train set. Amazing.....

I think people are saying the same thing from different perspectives and perhaps you are being too literal, with all respect.  Yes, we are social creatures and respond to social pressures.  No one is immune. 

At the same time, people have different "life circles" (the set of relationships we have based on the different manners in which we contact people -- work, school, hobbies, clubs, the gym, etc.) where someone's views of another person in a different circle can be almost irrelevant. 

Take work as one example.  At work, my "social pressures" originate in a desire to do a good job:  to be perceived as a competent and strong leader, a good member of the team, and someone with subject matter expertise.  My hobbies and other outside interests, such as trains, are mostly irrelevant to those daily interactions.  And if in that setting, people thought the hobby was odd, then that would really be their issue, not mine, i.e., I don't really care about what they think of my personal hobbies in that setting. 

Stating this point differently and to use your turn of phrase, I am comfortable enough in my own skin to understand that this hobby is a fine one and if people have an issue with it, it is a reflection of that person's own insecurities.  But, if people at the office were to express concerns about my ability to lead or manage, or my professional competency, then that would impact me, in the sense of making me reconsider my approach, because I do care about people's perceptions of me because they impact my ability to do my job and act as an effective manager.

So yes we are social creatures, but there is a balance required, as you note, where we need to have enough self confidence to know when we are OK to ignore the views of others.  And as a practical matter, life sorts itself out in such a manner that most people are not an open book to everyone with whom they come into contact on a daily basis.  There are different parts of that person that are known to different people based on the nature of the interactions that go on.  Now of course these things blur over time if, for example, you were to work with someone for a very long time.  But the rest of the time, the idea is as simple as saying that not everyone who comes into contact with you on a daily basis knows everything about you, nor do they have any right to know everything about you.   But for those that we know well, we share more of our joy and sadness.  The trains are obviously in the former column as something we all enjoy.

The only arguments I've had were on 4chan. I get slammed by HO fans,people who think model train fans are autistic and others who don't like sparse looking layouts or carpet centreals.

Prior to my retirement 3 years ago, I always had pictures of my trains and layout on my work cubicle walls. Some people showed interest and others could care less. After learning of my involvement in trains, many would ask if they could come over and see my layout and to see the trains run, which was always fine with me.

From my personal experience, the biggest obstacle of getting people interested in O Gauge trains is the cost. I have had people come over and really show interest in the trains until they start asking what all of this costs.

Back in about 1999, I took a new MTH Premier Gs-4 SP Daylight in on take your trains to work day. I had about 30-35 people stop by and look at it. Everyone thought it was a beautiful engine. I recall one guy stopped by and was telling me he would love to have an engine like it. Then he said "I bet that cost you at least $200". 

Good morning everyone, I really never thought of this until I  seen this post.

I have loved trains of all sorts from the time I was a kid to the present time.

When my oldest son was born Thomas the Tank Engine was just coming onto the scene on PBS Television channel and he was fascinated with Thomas.

This gave me a whole new reason to love trains and the fun began again.

With most people I meet and if the model train topic comes up, the general answer seems to be I know a guy that had a train layout at their house or there is a restaurant that has a train running around the inside it, have you ever been there!!!

Most people that come over to view my layout is fascinated by it and the fact that the trains have sound and smoke, boy I can remember that train coming up thru town that whistle and engine sounds just sound like what I remember.

I had a fellow worker ask me one time what I did over the weekend. My reply was my wife and I packed a lunch and went and watched trains all day very relaxing.

He looked at me kind of funny and said watched trains, did you see any ???

I asked him what he did, I went fishing. My reply was did you catch any???

It just depends on what you like.

I don't feel liking railroading or model railroading any stranger than liking any other sports or hobby and in this day and age there is plenty of weird things out there that people are into.

Not to get off the subject but this happen to me last night and it is railroad related in a way.

Someone on the Forum a while ago asked about wearing railroad hats or jackets when they go out to run errands other than attending a train related function.

Last night my wife and I met my oldest son in Altoona PA. and we all went to Lakemont Park to see the Holiday Light Display that the park puts on every year. 

Which after you drive thru the light display you can go inside and view the Alto Train Clubs model train layout.

Last night it just wall to wall people waiting to see the train layout.

We left and we went to get something quick to eat.

I had a brand new PRR hat on and when we walked into the restruarant and older fellow walked by, most likely coming from the rest room and gave me the strangest look.

It just so happens we were seated right across from this older gentlemen and his wife.

My wife leaned over and asked me if a knew this gentlemen because he keeps looking over at us.

I said no, and just kept talking to my wife and son.

Finally I caught him looking and he seen me look at him and he finally said I like that hat!! 

His wife then said that her husband worked for the PRR in the Juanita shops.

This just opened up a whole new conversation which ended up with this older couple over and sitting at our table and a simple meal turned into a 2 hour long conversation about the PRR and days gone by.

If I would have never had that PRR hat on the conversation would have never happened.

When we all decided it was time to leave because the restaurant was locking the doors we got up and I paid for he and his wives meals.

We walked outside and said our good byes and I took the brand new PRR hat off my head and said here, you deserve to where this more than me.

Without any reservation he took off the hat he was wearing and put the PRR hat on and then gave me a big hug.

His wife told my wife that was probably the best Christmas gift he got this year.

For me it was the best gift I gave this Christmas Season.