Family Train Dilemma

I'm sure this is one of the most common dilemmas in the hobby, and the advice given was sound.  I would have added the suggestion to make the set a room decoration (shelf queen) -- that way it stays in the family with no obligation to get into the hobby or even run it.

Since I have no children, I have had this kind of conversation with my brother about keeping certain sets in the family (the ones owned by my grandfather and father).

Andy

My son is not into trains at all but the Polar Express is his favorite Christmas movie and we watch it every Christmas Eve. Of course, I have a Polar Express set under the Christmas tree every year.  A few years ago my son, now age 20, told me when he gets his own place he'll be getting one to set up under his tree every year.   Though highly functioning, he is autistic, and routines are a big part of how he lives his life.   He doesn't know it yet but when he does get his own place I'll be giving him the set I run now.   As for my other trains, both he and my wife have been made aware of how to dispose of them when the time comes.

-Greg

My father got me a set in the late 50s, but he never really was into it.  He didn't have the patience to take care of all the inherent issues in running a set.  He expected me to set it up each year in the basement.  Actually, my sister was very interested when I told her I was getting it running again.  She helped a lot in the setup and would be there with me playing with it.  I stopped playing with them in the mid 60s.  I put it up again when my kids were between the ages of 1-9 in the late 80s.  Since there are no basements in Houston, it was in the garage of our small house.  When we moved to a larger house, I never put it up again because I was too busy with work (I traveled internationally extensively), and my kids were getting into athletics.  So they don't have a big fondness for the trains, although my kid that's a mechanical engineer liked seeing it when he was by after the New Year.

I don't know where mine will end up.  I suspect it will be sold at an estate sale.

I keep an inventory of my trains with values for my wife, along with the membership rosters of a few train clubs to which I belong.  Additionally, there are the names of some reputable auction houses if she should wish to let everything go at once.  She knows which ones to keep for display.

I think the article points out vividly the dichotomy that can arise between family members of different generations, some of whom value model trains as cherished and fond memories of times gone past and would hope to re-kindle those memories, while others do not share the same perspective.   

For myself, I had a pretty bad health scare last year (cancer), and I decided it was time to start selling the collection except for a few items (1st set, and a couple things that were dream items when I was a kid) that I'll hang onto until the hearse pulls up. My daughter has a few items of her own and plans to at least hang onto her Lionel Thomas the Tank Engine G gauge set that she got when she was three. Everything else doesn't have the same emotional bond. I'd agree with Andy's suggestion to keep it as a display item, or just something to run seasonally.

I think there's also a lesson to the older generation here.  Let's not put this kind of pressure on the younger generation.  Everyone is different and has different hobbies and interests.  My grown daughters have zero interest in trains.  That's fine with me - they like cars, video games, and other things.  I try to be cognizant of that and respect it.

Last Christmas, I even had a talk with my oldest, now with a serious boyfriend, that I understood that she might not be able to make it to my house on Christmas Day.  I told her I'd love to see her, but I knew her boyfriend has family too and I respected whatever decision she made about allocating her time for the holidays.  I told her I loved her and was happy to see her as much as I could. She was so relieved to hear that she cried.  She was really stressed about that.  As I get older and wiser and realize the kinds of stress heaped on by the older generation, I try to not do that to the younger one.

I don't look at it as 'pressure' to get involved in a parent's hobby but rather an opportunity to pass down a tangible item of remembrance.  It's perfectly ok to not have the same interests but I'd hope all children would want something tangible that was some importance to a parent or something which reminds them of their parent or happy experiences.  I love both my parents dearly but we have very little in common.  When the time comes there are definitely items I would like to have as a remembrance. 

I count myself fortunate as my son and I are very close (as is my wife).  Though we have very different interests we do share a few common primary interests but trains are not one of them and that's okay.

-Greg