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Pregnant woman is travelling on a train, and asks the conductor "when are we going to get there, I am due soon."

Conductor says "you shouldn't have ridden this train knowing you were pregnant"

"I wasn't pregnant when I got on the train"

 

(joke originally told about a narrow gauge train between Sydney and Alice Springs in the middle of the outback, legendary for its slowness). 

...and with B Smith's reply picking on grammer word choices and such, I'm done with the lot of you.....

Unfortunately, there is no shortage of people on this board who think its appropriate to pick on people's spelling, grammar, punctuation, and such. I am unclear on what they hope to accomplish.

I prefer to look past such things and understand what the person is trying to say. 

My grammar, spelling and punctuation is far from perfect, and the errors are compounded by muscle memory. Were I producing something for work, I'd be more careful. This is an informal chat board.
 

True story:

Three train fans with cameras were standing along the old SP&S in Oregon, waiting for SP 4449 to pull an excursion train past. All noted they'd only ever seen the locomotive in it's roundhouse in Portland or along the Springwater trail, never once on the high iron.

Soon, the train roared out of the tunnel nearby and in a flash, was gone. As all the fans were running to their cars to try to catch up with the train down the line, one was heard to say, "Wow, I never thought I'd get to see the Daylight at the end of the tunnel!"

My wife said, "Everything we do involves trains. Why can't we do something else?"

"Sure," I replied. "What would you like to do?"

"Let's go to a movie," she said.

"OK," I answered. "Which one?"

"True Lies," she suggested. "I want to see Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Tom Arnold."

We went and had a good time.

"I'm so glad we came," she said. "I could tell you enjoyed that chase with Arnold in a helicopter and Jamie in a runaway limousine."

"I sure did!" [And before my brain engaged my mouth, I added], "Those scenes were filmed on the Key West Extension of the Florida East Coast."

An Engineer gets on the radio with the Dispatcher. "Dispatcher, please confirm the time"

"Well, that Depends upon what road you're with" responds the Dispatcher...

The "road", what do you mean?  asks the engineer....

well

If you're with the N&W its 1:17 PM and 32 seconds

If you're with the NKP its 13:17.32

If you're with the UP the little hand is on the "1" and big hand is just past the "15" 

If your with the Southern, it's some time between lunch and dinner

AND if you're with Amtrak, it's Wednesday

Last edited by Gilly@N&W

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